Vindictive in-laws

[Kiechi]

I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping recently and yesterday I really went into myself, just not really communicating and in a generally bad mood for the first time. Now, staying at with the in-laws, they've picked up on this and waited until the girlfriend was asleep. I couldn't sleep as usual and thought I'd go in into the living room where they were and the next thing I know they were completey crucifying me. They said to me that I was no good to her and basically a nutcase. I've suffered depression and anxiety for years and I stupidly told them about it months ago because we got on really well and though I could trust them as sometimes I go into myself and found my grumpy sometimes. Out of nowhere, after one day of being in a generally bad mood, they become very vindictive, throwing depression in my face. They basically ripped me to shreds telling me how much of a loser I am and how they are concerned for my girlfriends safety when she is away at University living with me, after a year of them telling me how well suited we are and how great I am with her little brother. After half of hour being run down and apologetic for my behaviour (and why the **** should I be?) they continued to run me down and I said I'm going to bed and sorry I ruined their day.

Not being able to sleep and trying to find some sort of way to remedy the situation, I could not and had no choice but to wake the Mrs up and tell her. Furious as she was, we both went to sleep and her rents pulled her into the kitchen the next morning and told her my behaviour was unacceptable saying that they've always hated me and they didn't want to offend my girlfriend, hence why the didn't say. Her step father took me for a walk, venting how he is worried about her, saying that I'm prob' like this when we are back at Uni and it's too much stress for my girlfriend. After basically saying, she is safe and they have nothing to worry about, they just did not care, with the father in law playing the typical step father role "I'll go to the ends of the earth to protect her bla bla bla. I went back to the house and the mother in law completely went wild at me, telling me I'm insignificant and have no place there. Accusing me of breaking up the family and telling me that I am driving her grandad into dementia (He suffers from Alziemers) completely blaming me that he has the condition in the first place.

This isn't the first time this has happened, it happened a few months back and a few days ago with her telling me how much she hated me then apologisng the next day saying she was drunk. And more the fool me, always taking the initiative to cuddle her and say let's forget it so she doesn't feel bad, now here I am, with a thumping ****ing discomfort in my chest on edge of having a panic attack and I don't know how to take it. They've completed changed and shown their true colours as vindictive cock sucking bullying bastards.

N.B --- The mother in law in in denial about being an alcoholic who chats openly to me and her daughter about how she isn't happy in her marriage and how she is still in love with her former love after having a 3 year old child with her current partner and yet she stands there and questions and rips the shit out of my relationship.

Just needs to vent Where's the xantax when you need one huh?

[Junket]

Dude, sometimes defiance is the only way you can win.

[vashti]

You need to find other living arrangements. How can you ever be comfortable there, with people who have spoken to you this way?

[ecojeanne]

poor poor kiechi, first problem is living with them in the first place. get out asap. second problem is that you fell for it. in laws will always make you feel comfortable so that you reveal your demons so that they can judge you behind your back. the trick is to never fall for it. unfortunately it's too late for you. at this point the relationship with you and them is marked. it will take something massive like being some sort of hero like saving their daughters life etc. that's obviously never gonna happen. so the only choice is to move out, ignore the remarks and do your own thing as if they are just people you barely know...as in keep being polite and don't react---that would be the end of the end if you did react.

sorry dude, that's all i can say about the situation. all parents do this---mine did the same, they tricked a boy into opening up and then judged him for it and then made my life a misery (luckily i didn't care all that much about the guy so i dumped him but that's because he was actually a weirdo) always be very careful with in laws. ALWAYS!

[Illusional]

kei, do you ever empty your pm box?

raverboy

[IndiReloaded]

Well, and their speaking to you that way is just going to do wonders to reduce your stress. But, sounds like they are dysfunctional so you can't expect people like that to be able to put your needs in their forebrain. That saying about not being able to shovel other ppls shit when you're stuck in a pile of your own.

I agree w/Vash, as usual. You need to find a more calm space that is your own.

[tooxshort]

Why the hell did you even spend the rest of the night there? You gotta shake that spot, seriously. At this point, since you know where you stand with the parents, you only have to worry about how your gf feels about you.

[Mish]

This isn't the first time this has happened, it happened a few months back and a few days ago with her telling me how much she hated me then apologisng the next day saying she was drunk. And more the fool me, always taking the initiative to cuddle her and say let's forget it so she doesn't feel bad, now here I am, with a thumping ****ing discomfort in my chest on edge of having a panic attack and I don't know how to take it. They've completed changed and shown their true colours as vindictive cock sucking bullying bastards.

And you are considering to continue being with someone who has such dysfunctional parents that hate you?

If it was me I would have a talk with her saying that I'm not comfortable being in relationship with someone whose parents have so much animosity against me.

[doppelgaenger]

Totally know how that feels. I'm always getting blamed for everything. It's my fault that my rents live by the paycheck and I can't fork over my savings to cover the bounced checks. It's my fault that my bro ends up in state penitentiary, a drug addict. I'm the eldest son so I have to pay all the bills, and it's my fault that daddy left so long ago. It's my fault that my exes were slutty, dishonest whores that decided to cheat on me. Yada yada yada **** it all. Apparently I'm a good-for-nothing son of a bitch. That's what booze is for, right? Nah. I got friends. You know what you need to do? Channel all the pain into something productive. That's what I do.

The drugs don't work, man. Put 'em away and save them for the fun nights. You'll have your ups and your downs. Be ready for both.

[AdminOnline]

I doubt you will stay with in-laws that often...after all, you gonna move to a place with your other half someday ,right?

Bear with it for the time being though they are pretty crude...

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

Kiechi, I can pretty much say my boyfriend is in the same place as you.

Both of my parents are alcoholics. It's like they have split personalities.

My mother is the worst. She would tell me how good a boyfriend and father my boyfriend is, but when she gets drunk, she says she hates him and wants him out of the house because she assumes he does things and forgets that she is who did it. Then when he decides that he is going to leave, she begs him to stay.

He's been through a lot of shit and accusations with them and it tears me apart. He has always wanted to give in and just leave. But I guess he just decided for the sake of our own family and relationship, he will stick through it.

My mother recently stopped drinking(Too bad I already know it's only temporary), so we haven't heard it in the last two weeks. We've been working extra hard to get the hell out seeing as I was given a deadline to get out anyway.

A drunk man's words is a sober man's thoughts is what I say. Nobody can ever convince me otherwise, especially after living with my parents and their drunken ways for so much of my life. I've seen how fake my mother can get, and then she shows the real her. Quite frankly, if she wasn't my mother, I would not associate myself with her in any way.

I think you guys should really reconsider living with them to get away from their nagging and retarded assumptions. It's only so much a person can take.