Sex problems don't even describe this...

[i.am.me]

Basically, my boyfriend is kinda annoyed at me because i don't have a high sex drive. Its not that i don't enjoy having sex with him and i'm sure its not because i want to have sex with other people. Its just i never seem to want to have sex, don't get me wrong when we have sex i do enjoy it but i never seem to want it in the first place. Is this common or not?

I think it may be because its not as exciting anymore and the fact that he asks for it instead of just making a move. I don't know how to make it more exciting and i don't know what to do because i feel that he may cheat on me because he's not getting enough from me. Is that paranoidor not?

xoxo

[alice]

how old are you?

[Rosebud]

Yep, first things first. How old are you and how long have you guys been together?

There could be several things going on!

[i.am.me]

I am 18 and we been together for 2 and a half years. BTW you should check my introduction agen Rosebud, I did a nicer one lol

[vashti]

Sex drive is tied to hormones in addition to female psychology. If you are taking the pill, you should be warned that they can really mess with the sex drive. If your boyfriend is no good in the sack, that would also limit your enthusiasm. If you are not having orgasms, again, that would limit your enthusiasm. If you are having any issues with your guy (even if it's not sex-related, and frankly, your insecurity makes it seem likely), that would make a difference as well.

[Rosebud]

Hmm I was going to type out a whole bunch of things that could be happening and well.....Vashti summed it all up! lol

And I would like to add, yes it is very normal.. stress could be a factor as well!

[i.am.me]

I am on the pill, but thing is i don't want to use the other methods because they seem to have worse effects than this. An i bin on it for 2 years now so i can't see why in the last few months i havent had the same sex drive. i think ill leave the insecurity issue for another day since thats a hell of a problem for me an i no it, but theres not much i can think i can do.
like i sed i do enjoy havin sex with him an i do have orgasms, but i jst dont seem to want sex in the first place

[i.am.me]

stress could be a factor as well!

that may explain it, i jst had my A-levels exams, the only finished on monday (23rd)

[Rosebud]

So what has happened in the past couple months? Anything? I mean are you under stress? Or have you had any problems with anything else?

Edit: Sorry we posted at the same time, that is a big factor, I'm in the same situation. All you can do is try to relax and calm yourself. Things will get back to normal but stress plays a major part on your body including your immune system and your sex drive!

[vashti]

Maybe you can talk to your physician about the dosage level, then. Maybe you can get by with a lighter dosage.

Another thought is a condom in addition to a diaphragm. There are no side effects that I am aware of (other than inconvenience).

By the way, I just recently read that the negative effects of birth conrtol pills on sex drive can last up to and longer than a year after you quit taking them.

If your problems are stress-related, all I can say is that sex is a great way to work off stress...

[i.am.me]

i have got to go to my gp in 5 weeks neway for a check up on my abortion, so i will talk to him then, yeah i had an abotion last week, i only found out i was pregnant a week b4 that so that wud have caused a hell of alot stress but dont think that wud effect sex other than at the mo i really dont want to bcos of havin the abortion
xmas was a stressful time for me, but i think the not wantin sex goes further back then that

[alice]

i have got to go to my gp in 5 weeks neway for a check up on my abortion, so i will talk to him then, yeah i had an abotion last week, i only found out i was pregnant a week b4 that so that wud have caused a hell of alot stress but dont think that wud effect sex other than at the mo i really dont want to bcos of havin the abortion
xmas was a stressful time for me, but i think the not wantin sex goes further back then that

no wonder you don't feel like having sex for the time being. don't worry, all you need is some time to get over this. and if he doesn't understand that, he's a complete prick.

[i.am.me]

yeh but at the moment i understand y i dont want to have sex, but i havent really wanted sex for the last few months. this i dont understand

[alice]

yeh but at the moment i understand y i dont want to have sex, but i havent really wanted sex for the last few months. this i dont understand

maybe you were afraid of getting pregnant?

[i.am.me]

thats a possibilty, i mean we never used condoms, im jst on the pill. i definately dont want to get pregnant now because i dont wana have to go through gettin an abortion agen , an i dont think my mum wud be too happy either