Is it OK to be jealous?

[dwhawkin]

My gf has lots of "guy friends" which is OK with me I think. However, one of her new guy friends is my roommate. It really bothers me. I have had to tell her three times now that I get jealous and she won't stop talking to him.

Am I out of line asking her to stop being friends with him?

The reason it bothers me is that she laughs a little harder when she is around him. I also know that he is interested in her. Whenever he comes home she will stop whatever we are doing to talk to him. Today she walked into the other room to say something private to him.... all this seems innappropriate to me. Especially since she knows it bothers me. Am I being unreasonable?

[Enigmos]

i think it's a bit disrespectful for her to not address your feelings. either there is some chemistry there, or she thinks you're bonkers about your concerns with her and your roommate's friendship because there, in her mind, there is absolutely nothing going on. with what you've written, i can't tell. however, she is continuing to dismiss your feelings.

have you tried asking her what her intentions are with your roommate? if she laughs this off, that'd put my shit radar up.

[Yggdrasil]

She's being pretty disrespectfull towards you.

Why don't you play the ball back and bring a girl friend in and do the same. She how she feels about it?

[dwhawkin]

Thanks for the responses.

I have asked her if she is interested in him and she totally laughs that off. She said "ewww!" like she would never be attracted to him. probably a little overdone since he is an attractive guy.

[Asip4u]

Girls love guys that they can have a sort of brother-sister type relationship...so no worries dude...

[Tug]

If something is bothering you and you tell your S/O about it and that person continues to do whatever it is thats annoying you than maybe that person doesnt have your best interest at heart.

Personally I think when two people have a committed relationship and the other person has allot of friends that are the opposite sex it's a recipe for disaster. Sooner or later trust will became an issue and the relationship will cease to exist.

[tamdiego]

I think maybe both people involved should spend a little more time trying to understand the other person's point of view. She needs to try to understand that it hurts your feelings when she acts excited to see your roommate (which she may not intentionally be doing, even if you think it looks that way) and be a little more sensitive to your wishes. You should also try to understand her when she says there is nothing there and they are just friends. I think Asip4u hit it spot on, it is fun to have friends that you can be buddies with like that.

She also may not be changing her ways immediately because she has never experienced this before, to her, these guys are just buddies and there is nothing to worry about that, but you guys just dont understand how the other person interacts yet and what you each think is appropriate.

When two people come together in a relationship, especially people who have had a lot of experience being by themselves and doing exactly what they want to do and what they think is appropriate, it can be hard to mesh those ideas sometimes. If you really like this girl, I think you should trust what she says a little more, if she says she isnt attracted to him at all, trust her, but also you both need to spend a little more time being honest and frank about opinions like this. When she understands how big of a deal this is to you, and when you understand how this is Not a big deal to her, with a little time and understanding, you could come to a really good middle ground.

[JaCe]

Honestly saying, there are many reasons that she could be doing that. But both of you have to be willing to change a little for each other, not a lot but just acceptance. I mean, of course i think shes a little out of line and rude in it, but you dont want to force her to lose a friend. I think you should trust her a little more and just keep showing her you love her. of course i also think she shouldnt be so loose with other guys. I had the same problem and i can only say from my experience what i think. My boyfriend was a major flirt and had lots of friends that he loved hugging and laying on. I kept complaining about his actions with other girls and how i felt about them. It became a reason he pulled away. It might be different for guy and girl, but i think that its a matter of trust. I know how you must feel, like that you are afraid someone else will win her, and that he will take her time away from you. I cant give you 100% accurate advice, but from my experience, id say understand what she is doing. Do you really hate it that much? And would you change her for it? (After my bf dumped me, i realized that really i didnt hate how he was with his friends, you cant expect me to like it, but i sorta respected it as who he was.)

[brightgirl]

My gf has lots of "guy friends" which is OK with me I think. However, one of her new guy friends is my roommate. It really bothers me. I have had to tell her three times now that I get jealous and she won't stop talking to him.

Am I out of line asking her to stop being friends with him?

The reason it bothers me is that she laughs a little harder when she is around him. I also know that he is interested in her. Whenever he comes home she will stop whatever we are doing to talk to him. Today she walked into the other room to say something private to him.... all this seems innappropriate to me. Especially since she knows it bothers me. Am I being unreasonable?

I tend to agree with you, here.
If you sit down and explain that you don't like it, that it's a problem for you, and it continues....
then she's either dismissing your feelings and disrespecting you, which in my book is grounds for walking, or she's too into the attention to do what you ask, which is also grounds for walking.
People treat you how you let them treat you. If you want a girl who respects you and tries to please you, then don't put up with the ones that don't.

[Raze]

I would be jealous.

[NeoSeminole]

no, b/c jealousy is such a useless emotion. If you're jealous of the attention your gf gives your roommate and nothing is going on between them, then you look like a douche. If you're jealous and something is going on between them, then you're a chump. Either way, it's a lose-lose situation. You must decide whether you trust your girl enough to stay or you want to find another who is more respectful of you.