Bit of a Pickle......!

[HeadOvaHeels]

Well guys, here goes......
about 6 weeks ago i met a most wonderful, incredible and attractive woman who has absolutly captured my heart. We have spent a lot of time together both in person and over the phone and have started to share feelings of love and attraction. Things have moved very quicky since we first met and i believe we are at a point now where we are able to consider taking the next step. There are a few different sides to this relationship, but the one im seeking most help on at the moment is this.....

I am very much in love with this woman... I am 25 and this being the second of 2 relationships in that time (the first was for 7 and a bit years)..... I would like to think that i know what love is when it hits me..... and its hit me!!!
All the feelings and indications are that she feels the same but.....She is off Overseas to fulfil a dream that she's had for nearly 4 years now. She will be away for 5 months... when she leaves, we will have known each other intimatly for about 3 months so basically 3 months together and then she's away for 5 months. I know this time is going to be very hard on us both... She will always be busy overseas and will be meeting a lot of people im sure. I will try my hardest to make the best of this time apart to make the time go quicker and consider all my feelings from the past 3 months.

What id like to know is.... Has anyone else been in a similar situation, perhaps in a similar time frame? Are things moving too quickly? Should i be worried that i might lose her or the feelings we have shared so far will fade?
On a similar note, id like to hear any suggestions of things i could do or prepare for her in the next few weeks before she leaves.... ie.... something she can open at the end of each week to "keep me in her mind"
Anything i could do so that she doesnt forget me and forget the feelings we have for each other at the moment?
Thanks in advance for any ideas/suggestions/comments....
:-)

[flurint]

I have been in similar situation and i lasted for 1 month. Mine and my ex feeling did fade away, distance fades the feelings. Why don't you ask her to stay back with you. Show her some thing special Show her your Love. If by all means you can't stop her i suggest you do some thig special on the the last day so she will always remeber. If your deeply in Love why don't you go with her or are you scared to get in her way?

Good Luck =]

[HeadOvaHeels]

She is going away for 5 months so she will be back.....
She tells me that her parents also have a big influence on her life at the moment - She is Italian and im Australian so im learning that side of things....
Her parents dont want her to get "too involved" just yet
They want her to go away with an open mind and not have to worry about whats happening back here. I dont believe her parents would agree with me going with her.... I guess with a bit more planning, it would have been a posibility.... time to organise money, accomodation, language etc.....
Just a tad confused i guess....
I know she wants a relationship with me.... she has said that if she wasnt going away then we would definitly be together 110%.....
am i worrying about nothing???
hmmm

oh and i DO want to show her that i love her.... There isnt anything i wouldnt do but i guess im looking for suggestions..... I know it has to come from me, but suggestions that maybe I could combine and personalise in my own way....?

[Tiay]

I haven't seen my BF since september, and when I see him next (probably in august) it'll be for one week. So I suppose that's different from your situation because we're from different places to begin with, rather than one of us going away for a while and then coming back. Still, the reason I keep going is because it makes me happy, and we're both getting stuff together in our lives so I think it suits us.

yes, your feelings could fade, it really depends. But what use is worrying? Are you going to be able to communicate with each other while she's away?

oh, and as for giving her something for her to take with her; don't give her something that she'll put in a drawer and never look at. Give her something that she'll use/wear. A necklace, earrings, a hair-band, an item of clothing that'll come in handy, etc; you know her best.

edit; oh, another good one is writing her sweet note and giving it to her right before she leaves, and telling her to read it in the airplane, or so

[vashti]

Should i be worried that i might lose her or the feelings we have shared so far will fade?:-)

I think it would be better to try to be appreciative of the time you have had together so far. Additionally, be really careful not to start to sound unsupportive about her taking this trip. If this is something she has planned for a long time, she deserves to have this experience without having to handle someone else's issues. Also, remember that worrying is a complete waste of time and serves no productive purpose. Her feelings will either change, or they won't, and all the worrying in the world won't change it.

On a similar note, id like to hear any suggestions of things i could do or prepare for her in the next few weeks before she leaves.... ie.... something she can open at the end of each week to "keep me in her mind"

:-)

I think love letters would mean the most to her, so long as you can avoid sounding needy in them. Also, CDs of music that reminds you of her would be nice.

[HeadOvaHeels]

I have loved the time we have spent together so far..... I wouldnt change a thing and i think thats what is going to help me personally when she is away and help me not to think negative thoughts and worry.
Id like to think that at no stage have i given her the impression that i dont want her to go.... Even if she said she was having thoughts about not going because she wanted to stay with me, I dont think i'd let her.... I wouldnt let her miss out on this oppertunity... Ill still be here when she returns....
I know that worrying is a waste of time but its one of those things that is easier said than done.....
In the mean time, ive had a couple of thoughts.... I am going to get a calender custom printed with photos of me, her and us. On each day that she is away I will write "I love you" in small writing and unfortunatly she is away for Xmas and her Birthday so i think ill also try to look ahead to those occasions and find suitable gifts, but only on those days can she open them.
I think I'll also investigate getting some flowers delivered to her over there.
Letters are already underway. I was thinking one for each month that shes away....Id love to do weekly, but 20 letters?? without repeating too much stuff?? i like the idea of 5 reasonalbly lenghthy letters....
Id also like to get some professinal photographs done together and use them somehow. She is a big coffee and tea drinker so perhaps a customised mug for her to look at each morning and each night?
I think we will be in contact a lot through the Internet, but i know there will be days or even weeks when she cant get access....

[vashti]

That sounds like a lot of stuff for a six week long relationship. It might be a bit overkill...

[HeadOvaHeels]

we are at 6 weeks now, but by the time she leaves it will be 3 months or just over.....

[HeadOvaHeels]

Well..... bit of an update i guess....
Things are still going strong between us.... feelings and emotions still all there and showing no signs of depreciating.....
She leaves in exactly 5 weeks.... A couple of her relatives are coming out in a week and yet another thing that will occupy her time while she is here....
between hers and my work, her courses, parents and now cousins.... i dont think im going to see very much of her at all before she leaves and she has already indicated that when we do catch up, it will probably be with her cousins attached.
I dont think im dealing with it all that well.... I guess i was kinda hoping to see her a lot more before she left, but the harder we try it seems the harder it gets to make time for each other....
Is this something I should just accept and keep going as things are?
Something I could or should say something to her about?
In 5 weeks i wont be able to see her AT ALL..... so the time we have now means even more..... but my problem is WHAT TIME? i havent seen her in a week and a bit and phone calls are as good as its been.....
what to do????