I don't know what to think of it. But I saw my ex for the first time in a while and we talked about many things yesterday. We discussed how he feels, how I feel, the break up/what happened since, then we talked about the relationship and what went wrong on both our parts.
He broke up with me 3 months ago and we had dated for 2 yrs before that.
He told me (and the reason for breaking up) how right now he doesn't want to be in a relationship because he's having a hard time figuring out what he wants in life overall, with starting college, and that everyone has a goal in life and he wants to make a difference some day, he wants to make people happy and he felt like he wasn't doing a good job. How he just doesn't know what his is yet and like how he needs time alone to just "find himself". He hasn't been talking to other girls since, which I know for a fact. He pretty much has just been alone since we broke up.
But after he had told me that we talked more. I reassured him how he has time to figure things out. And we talked about other things related to "growing up" (I'll be 20 and he's going to be 19). He told me he still loved me or never stopped loving me. He told me how he took full blame for "ruining the relationship", and he has NEVER admitted to being wrong to anything before, so that was huge.
Which then I said how all relationships have ups and downs, no one's perfect, but I didn't think what had been going on couldn't have somehow been worked out at the time.
Then we talked about the relationship, what happened in it and we discussed some issues that we had when we were dating. We were very understanding of each other and listened, said sorry, admitted to where we faulted and how looking back we shouldn't have reacted the way we had at times. We basically solved and cleared a lot of past issues we had that had been unresolved. It felt nice to discuss everything, it was kind of refreshing cause the issues we had before I did have a lot of time to reflect on so I had wanted to talk to him about them at some point, but then he brought them up and we worked them out.
He was surprised how my mindset changed on certain issues and I said "they're no big deal, it comes down to how the guy treats the girl. I've had a lot of time to reflect on everything"
after we talked he said "well I’ll be in NY for a week but I’ll text you when I’m there. And we can hang out more now though since we talked about all of that. Cause today was awesome!”
In the car he asked "can we headbutt?" (yeah which that sounds weird, but it was something we did when we dated) and I said "we haven't done that in forever?" and he said "I know, but, can we?" so we did.
But then it’s like after all that talking he also seemed REALLY happy, was singing and dancing in the car especially enthusiastically, and he got kinda flirty with me the rest of the night. But in a goofy non-sexual way.
At one point he called me baby too, when we were playing a game and I accidentally killed him I apologized and he had told me "it's ok baby" Which he hasn't called me that in months. But I just didn't acknowledge he said that, I thought that was just a slip.
But overall, I don't know what to think of everything... or what could be even going on. I don’t know if that can be called reconciling? But we cleared a lot of things up and were so happy after we talked about it all, our moods totally changed (in a good way) towards each other. And he seemed so much happier after we talked. But we never mentioned anything about getting back together or trying again.So I am not sure what happens from here?
Things seem kind of seem more positive/good. But I don’t want to get my hopes up?