Im dying inside

[SoulEdge]

Hi everyone, i have a problem. My girfriend and i have been in a relationship for almost 5 months now. She lives in the US and im living far away from her right now. I had to move away because my job required me to do so. Weve been apart for almost 1 month now and she called me last night and tells me that her male friend needs to spend the night at her house because she neds to take him to the airport the next day. Problem is he used to be her boyfriend. She told me that after they broke up and we started seeing each other he would ocasonally stay at her house and stay the night in her bed with her cuddling. I tell her, its fine, he can sleep in the couch. Then she drops this bomb on me. When he sleeps over they sleep together and cuddle. I tell her, well, he has no bussiness cuddling with you anymore, he can sleep on the sofa. But she tells me that the sofa is uncorfortable. So she tells me that she would tell him to sleep in the hidabed. Fast forward to this morning and she tells me that they slept together because the hidabed was unconfortable too, but didnt kiss or anything just cuddled. How am i supposed to process this? I am pretty sure that if any man slept with another woman and had no sex but cuddled his girfriend would be very upset, to the point of breaking up. I love her but i dont know what to do. What will happen when im there and he decides to stay the night because he needs to be driven somewhere or something. Does she expect me to let him sleep in my bed and me sleep on the couch or her sleep on the couch and me with him in bed? Its not happening. Im not a jealouse person, hence me being ok with her being friends with her ex, but this is taking it too far. Help, i need counsling, im dying inside right now.

[it's me it's me]

First of all relax....look I don't know you or your gf to able to really advice but I'll give it my best shot. You love her and to me that's all that matters if I were you I wouldn't break but since you are unconfortable with this whole situation you have to talk it out with her. Trust her when she says nothing else happened. Having a long distance relationship is really really hard but you'll find your way. The most important thing is to speak your mind and let her know

[S0NofHAM]

If it were me, I'd never allow it...

[dontaskme]

Break up with her. There's nothing to regret. Dump the bitch for her inappropriate behavior and disrespecting you. Who the fuc k sleeps in the same bed with their ex while in relationship with another person. That's totally fuc ked up dude. Have some self respect. Your gf is totally overstepping your boundaries or any relationship boundary for that matter.

[S0NofHAM]

Break up with her. There's nothing to regret. Dump the bitch for her inappropriate behavior and disrespecting you. Who the fuc k sleeps in the same bed with their ex while in relationship with another person. That's totally fuc ked up dude. Have some self respect. Your gf is totally overstepping your boundaries or any relationship boundary for that matter.

I agree with dontaskme. I was being nice at first, and then I realized that I could be you, and I'd want you to give me honest advice, not nice advice. I realized that you are likely blinded by love, like I've been many times.

She's totally overstepping her boundaries, and cuddling basically means groping, even if sex wasn't involved. That's basically cheating, and if it were me, I'd break up with her because I won't stand for cheating. It is incredibly disrespectful for your girlfriend or wife to ever sleep in the same bed as her ex, cuddling or not. First off, the ex shouldn't be in any communication with her whatsoever. Secondly, he should never sleep at her home, and thirdly, even if some emergency existed (him needing a ride to the airport doesn't count. He can handle his own affairs), then there is absolutely no excuse for not using the couch or hideaway or floor itself. If she allowed her to cuddle with him in bed, then that would be an automatic deal breaker with me and most men in the world. I've had my heart broken five times, but I'm still alive, and it's true when they say that you can move on. I've had a broken heart from dumping, and also from getting dumped. I've been dying inside, myself, the last 4 weeks, so I know a lot of what you're going through right now (albeit a much different situation, but a heartbreak is a heartbreak nonetheless).

[GustavoWoltmann]

Hello SoulEdge,

You need to break up with her. If she really loves you then she won't go near ex boyfriend. If really cares for your feelings then she will know that you are hurting inside whenever they sleep and cuddle together. Bro, you don't need to waste time on a girl like that. Go look for another one that deserve your love and feelings. Go look for the right girl. If I were you and found that kind of girl here in Panama, I will not think twice and will break up with her immediately. For now, you should relax, try to read books from publihers that give advise on love or maybe tips on how to forget. You should be okay breaking up with her. that's the right thing to do.

Regards,
Gustavo Woltmann