So here's the story...
I've never been in this position before. I was in a long distance relationship for three years and loved my girlfriend to no end. We had the ultimate goal of being in the same city eventually and traveling, doing our OE together.
She was waiting for me to finish university before we could really make plans which falls in June of this year. Well, we started talking about everything about a month ago and it became apparent that we both had very different ideas about where we wanted to go and how everything would pan out. The tension became too much and I reconciled myself to the fact that we were heading in different directions and wanted different things in life. So I broke up with her. I broke her heart and my own in the process. I never doubted my feelings for her, I knew I loved her and would miss her but convinced myself, based on my own instinct and opinions of others, that love wasn't always enough.
It's been a month since we broke up and we haven't spoken except for a couple of emails. Meanwhile, a couple of weeks after we broke up I began 'seeing' or casually dating a girl who I had had a crush on for awhile. It can't and won't ever be serious with this girl now, because she leaves the country soon. Also, I feel it's much too soon to be getting into another relationship. She recently broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years as well. So, I guess because I was lonely, sad and vulnerable (and also the first time I'd been single in 3 years) hanging out with her helped take my mind off things and feel better. We ended up sleeping together last night, and rather than feel better and more confident of my situation it has just made me feel worse and more sad. I've been missing my girlfriend so much for the past month, and I guess having sex with someone else felt like the curtain closing, a sense of finality.
But... For the past month I've been doing some serious thinking about everything and decided that the reason me and my girlfriend broke up was mostly due to my lack of compromise. God I miss her, and I've come to be of the opinion that I want to be with her and compromise on travel. Hell, I'd even move to be with her after school finishes in a month. I wrote her a hand written letter explaining how foolish and selfish I've been and how much I want to be a part of her life and be happy together but haven't sent it yet because I want to be sure I say everything that needs to be said in it.
I don't know if I should tell her I slept with someone else in the time we've been broken up? I know she would be crushed and probably not take me back. I know I haven't been unfaithful or broken any rules, but if I do ask her to come back with me and she says yes, I know it is inevitable she will ask me eventually. I wouldn't want to know if she had, but then again it was me who broke up with her. Given I was single and we hadn't spoken in four weeks, and I genuinely believed it was over between us and couldn't work, am I obliged to tell her? I know to her it would seem like I had broken up with her just to have sex with someone else, but that's not true. I don't think I could ask her back if I knew I had to tell her, I would rather just leave things be instead of hurting her any further. I really love her though, and it's taken losing her to make me realize what I had and how great it could have been. I feel like an idiot for not compromising and giving it the chance it deserved right before I had the opportunity to.
Any advice appreciated. Thanks everyone