shouting boyfriend

[ketl]

My boyfriend has a problem. He shouts at people. When we are in the car together, he regularly holds the horn for 10 seconds at a time, telling off other drivers. If someone shows him attitude in line for a movie, he might loudly lecture them.

The other day we were crossing the street together and he shouted at a woman in a car who didn't stop at the stoplight fast enough. I was scared and embarrassed so I didn't cross the street with him.

He then got extremely angry at me for not "hustling." The outing we were supposed to go to was cancelled because he was supposedly not in the mood anymore.

When I tried to talk about this with him he got angry and upset saying he is tired of my judgmental attitude and bored of having this conversation.

I do tell him pretty much every day or every other day that his anger makes me uncomfortable.

What can we do? We love each other a lot and have long term plans to be together but I'm sick of this childish yelling.

He claims he is working on it but I haven't seen any improvement!!

[JuicyTime]

anger/shouting like such is very childish. You wouldn't marry/date a child (well i hope not) so dont marry/date him until he changes.

[VincenzoG91]

He is an angry asshole, and he is clearly not interested in improving his behavior. Tell him to take an anger management class or you will dump him.

I got that ultimatum from my girlfriend years ago, and took the class very seriously. It improved my relationship, both with her and other people in my life. More importantly, the class saved my job. I had a good job at a good company, but my boss was sometimes very difficult due to a long and messy divorce. The only reason I managed to hang onto that job and even outlast that boss was due to what I learned in the anger management class.

One more thing to think about. Anger is often a mask covering another emotion, like fear or sadness. Think about what is going on in his life, to see if there might be some serious underlying emotion. Men are often taught to hide or suppress all emotions except for happiness and anger, to avoid appearing weak. If he can find a way to talk about other feelings, that might help reduce his number of angry outbursts. Either way, he still needs the class.