Ladies, how do show your interest in a guy?

[jb1111983]

Will help me and other men understand women more. Some of you are pretty straightforward but I've also seen girls I just don't understand. For instance there was this pretty girl I met in Switzerland about a year ago. I was there for 2 months. I found this girl attractive but she seemed to always avoid me. She would only talk to me when we are with others. And she didn't come across as a shy girl to me. So I didn't think she had any interest in me. Then to my surprise one night she comes to my room and tells me I was her secret love! She said I was always on her mind. I was stunned! I seriously didn't know how to react to that. Well if she had any interest why the hell was she avoiding me all the time. I just don't get it.

Back to the question. Thanks!

[OhHowLovely]

Women have different ways of showing interests in guys. That girl in Switzerland seemed like she was playing hard to get and it seems by what you mentioned, that maybe she's shy if it's just the two of you (like maybe if you were on a date and absolutely no friends were around) and more outgoing when others are around (she'll feel more comfortable that way).

And some girls show interest in guys by flirting with them - giggling a lot, complimenting, turning red, change in voice (higher than usual lol), talking to them more than other people, showing off

[jb1111983]

Thank you OhHowLovely! That's helpful.

[MrE]

There are many indicators of interest, you just have to read them. The way they play with their hair, they giggle - even if what you're saying is only mildy funny, when you make eye contact you can see a subtle glint (if they dodge your eyes it can be a bad sign, unless they are being bashful which is easy to read). If you tell them an interesting story they seem genuinely interested, a big clue is if you lean back a little bit they lean forward to close the gap, they make subtle touches on your arm, hand, or other areas, she accepts subtle touches from you without looking uncomfortable, if you're at a gathering she will stay in view, or be near you, etc. Even girls that play hard-to-get will show some of these signs if they are interested. She could have been playing hard-to-get and maybe you just weren't seeing the subtlety.

I've learned that the trick with women that play hard-to-get is you have to play it back, it really does work. Those girls just love playing with guys like that, and many times if you come across as needy, non-confident, or you shower her in compliments then you go right to friend camp. You just have to be really confident, subtlely flirty, don't latch on at all, don't follow her around or text or, or call her, etc and when you do make contact playfully say things like "You know, we probably wouldn't work together as a couple anyways.". Sounds counter-intuitive but it works every time if she has a real interest in you. Beautiful women are constantly being showered with compliments and guys are always doing what they want for them, etc - don't do that, you have to stand out.

[smackie9]

If they pay a lot of attention to you especially if there are other girls around, you are in.

[jb1111983]

Thanks everyone! Now I probably will do a little better at picking up even the subtle hints which I know still won't be that easy for me.
There's a question on my mind. Why do women play hard to get? Maybe I should start another about this. I'm sure the question is valid for many men.

[imagineallthe]

A guy I like asked me out a few times and I turned him down, now we don't really talk anymore. There's no hard feelings, none of us admitted to anything, we were just friends. I don't think he hangs out a lot with girls and he's in his room a lot. I fell completely for the nerdy-feeling he gave. I think about him everyday, it makes me happy. I literally can't stop smiling! Why did I turn him down? I didn't dare to hang out! I'm not really a shy girl, but I simply didn't dare to. It's all these insecurites about: what if he finds me boring, et. I hardly ever fall in love, so when I do - I do my best to not feel rejected.

Girls play hard to get because it makes them feel wanted; they know you'll be thinking about them and be intruiged. I gave up on that game years ago, it's kind of a shallow way to meet. If you like someone, just be up front and don't stop texting or whatever. Don't overshower with compliments, but don't quit either. People stress so much about this, the reason I fell for that guy in the first place was because he didn't act like a dude looking for sex. He was funny, independent and dorky. My point: I'm in love with him - yet turn him down just because I'm insecure. So people act weird for all kinds of reasons

[girl68]

I tend to act different to a guy I like. So if I'm flirty with other boys but to you I'm kind of shy I like YOU, not the other guys. Or sometimes I will avoid other guys but sit next to you at the table.

I'd also try to get your attention on me.

[ineedtoflyaway]

A guy I like asked me out a few times and I turned him down, now we don't really talk anymore. There's no hard feelings, none of us admitted to anything, we were just friends. I don't think he hangs out a lot with girls and he's in his room a lot. I fell completely for the nerdy-feeling he gave. I think about him everyday, it makes me happy. I literally can't stop smiling! Why did I turn him down? I didn't dare to hang out! I'm not really a shy girl, but I simply didn't dare to. It's all these insecurites about: what if he finds me boring, et. I hardly ever fall in love, so when I do - I do my best to not feel rejected.

Girls play hard to get because it makes them feel wanted; they know you'll be thinking about them and be intruiged. I gave up on that game years ago, it's kind of a shallow way to meet. If you like someone, just be up front and don't stop texting or whatever. Don't overshower with compliments, but don't quit either. People stress so much about this, the reason I fell for that guy in the first place was because he didn't act like a dude looking for sex. He was funny, independent and dorky. My point: I'm in love with him - yet turn him down just because I'm insecure. So people act weird for all kinds of reasons

You just opened my eyes. I have this girl at college that I admire/like and I think she might be going through the things as you! Holy cow.. It almost fits like a puzzle. God sent.. OK, well I'm a guy not looking for sex either. I really want to find a soul mate or get to know her better. I am independent and perhaps dorky I'm not sure but, being independent maybe. She even showed interest in me the classes we were in. I also wanted to be friends! I felt a spark. Even as shy as I was I manned up to her. Maybe didn't go perfect but, I did what I could. I'm also afraid of rejection, but I put my fears aside. And I agree that game "hard to get" is pathetic. It makes it hard for both genders.

I have questions, if you liked him and thought about him so and so days, why couldn't you stop smiling even after you turned him down? Were you actually happy you turned down a guy you were interested in? What on earth is going on I don't get it! My head is going to explode. Why not give him a chance? Or did you already know him for a while that you put him off? And what advice do you have for me. I think I am in a similar situation right now. I'm playing the waiting game right now with this new girl I met. Its been over a week and now I feel she did like me but, is going to bail or forget me perhaps because she thinks I'm too good for her. But, I want to be there for her! Even as friends.. not sure if coming on too strong telling her how I feel is a good idea.

I tend to act different to a guy I like. So if I'm flirty with other boys but to you I'm kind of shy I like YOU, not the other guys. Or sometimes I will avoid other guys but sit next to you at the table.

I'd also try to get your attention on me.

This girl did the exact same thing. She decided to sit right in front of me in class! WOW, what is going on. Am I nuts, delusional or perhaps those were correct signs of girl showing interest? That is so weird.. :S If the girl I like now is insecure is probably the reason she is ignoring me now.. makes sense.

[silence_key]

Heres another thing: even the most super confident women can turn timid and shy around the men they like.

I know I do.

[jb1111983]

Wow! She's usually confident and friendly with other guys but is shy and kinda nervous when she's with me. She just smiles like a shy little girl and waits for me to say something first. And when I do that she has so much to say! Seriously I don't think she acts this shy and nervous around any other guy. She has no problem conversing with other guys from what I've observed.
She likes me, right?

[silence_key]

Wow! She's usually confident and friendly with other guys but is shy and kinda nervous when she's with me. She just smiles like a shy little girl and waits for me to say something first. And when I do that she has so much to say! Seriously I don't think she acts this shy and nervous around any other guy. She has no problem conversing with other guys from what I've observed.
She likes me, right?

I think so =))

Just be gentle though as she feels vulnerable around you.

Gosh, reminds me of me. Im SO confident but around the one guy I absolutely adore, I am always a super wreck. I'm always afraid Ive either made a right looney of myself or made myself obvious.

[silence_key]

The other thing is we appear distant sometimes because we ARE SHY. Not all of us are playing games although we say all the wrong things which make us appear aloof but its out of reflex, nervous reaction. We also dont want to look too keen incase our feelings get crushed. (in these sort of scenarious we like you ALOT)

[imagineallthe]

She just smiles like a shy little girl and waits for me to say something first. And when I do that she has so much to say!

Haha, that's a confession in itself; of course she likes you! Doesn't get more obvious than that (or not-obvious, depens on how you look at it=)

[imagineallthe]

if you liked him and thought about him so and so days, why couldn't you stop smiling even after you turned him down? Were you actually happy you turned down a guy you were interested in?

I was only smiling because I'm in love =) not because I turned him down, I only turned him down because I was afraid of what would happen: what if I'd blew it? Or that he didn't find me interesting? So I decided to play it safe and avoid being hurt, which is probably what your girl is doing. I'm not sure what you should do... and what sort of questions have you asked her? One reason for why I turned this guy down, is because he wanted me to come with his friends and hang out with them several times, which I didn't want (I don't know his friends, and how would I act? It's all very scary when you're in love).

I feel the same way you do; I really want to be friends with him. I don't need to visualize him and me getting intimate (though of course I do at times, haha), sometimes it's enough just to talk to him or know that he exists on this planet! It makes me feel better, and happy. I haven't felt this kind of love before. I think my needs are changing; I want to get to know people on a deeper level than before, and he gives the most interesting conversations. What has this girl told you when you ask her out? Have you asked her out?

(And I realllllly suck at taking initiative. That could be the case with her too... what can I say. We're made that way)