wife and feelings for old friend?

[parramaniac]

My wife 4 weeks ago for 2 weeks didn't tell me she had regained contact with an old male friend she hadn't spoken to for 2 years. They even met 3 times. I checked text messages and there was a lot of messages about feelings, and needing to see him. There was also a message that they kissed on there last meeting.
When I challenged her she said it was a kiss goodbye. She found that the contact was lost when his wife found flirty messages between them, so told him he couldn't speak to her again. I knew of these messages, and was not concerned 2 years ago, it seemed how they were.
My wife said that they had said goodbye, and that was it, but I went around to him and told him to stay away. Over the next 2 weeks I felt my wife was hitting rock bottom with her depression and therefore she did what she did as a cry for help. I believed nothing had happened, but that she had gone behind my back, and got very emotionally involved. I felt betrayed and that she had damaged trust between us, to which she agreed.
My wife said they couldn't speak anyway as he wouldn't go behind his wife's back. I thought it would be good for her to get closure after i went around, so 4 days ago she called him to say everything was ok. She ended up chatting for 30 minutes, and agreed to speak again. I was fuming as i thought she was ringing to get closure, not carry on.
We talked and she again said sorry, i told her i felt threatened by him as she said he made her happy. I told her it was up to her, and she originally said it was me, but then back tracked and said she had to have some form of contact. We agreed around every 4-6 weeks.
She began a journal, and over the last 2 days and written how she misses him, and wants to see him, despite me saying that i could not cope with her doing that. She said she needed him.
She also in the first two weeks began going out on her own for an hour in the evenings, She felt guilty that i was stuck at home, so had asked my permission an I’d said it was ok. She said she needed it to get peace and sort her head out.
I have found they met at this place once, and she stopped going until the day before and then after the phone call. When she went the day after she said about wanting to see him.
Am i right to feel something is going on, even if it only my wife screaming out for help due to her depression. Is she emotionally cheating on me? I feel i can't stop her going out cause she needs space, or stop her speaking to him cause she needs a friend. But despite her saying that nothing happened and she loves only me, i feel she is getting in way over what is acceptable for friends.
I have a femal friend i knew before i even met my wife. We meet every 6 -8 weeks to catch up. No history, she is like a sister. She thinks this is the same, but i have never desired to see her, and written that i miss her. I could go for 2-3 months without seeing her.
I'm so confused, and it's ruining my life, i can't sleep, eat, and the kids are being neglected.

[smackie9]

It's called divorce. She is having an emotional affair with this guy and that means she has emotionally left your relationship.......it's sad that the kids will have to suffer as well.