Chasing exes

[Lieslchen]

I've had a relationship with my ex for about three years. Last year all of a sudden, out of the blue, he broke up with me. He said he didn't love me in that way anymore, I'd become a friend.
He avoided contact but after a couple of months he started talking to me as if he wanted me back, sending me e-mails while he was drunk, saying how much he missed me. Because he thought I had no feelings for him, he hooked up with the first girl he could get, relationship between them didn't work and soon he searched even more contact with me.

During the summer he started to "chase" me. Wanting me, but at that time, I thought he was up to no good. He wanted to meet me, was fun, but also reached out to kiss me more than once.

At the end of September I started to give in. We kissed and fooled around, even had sex a couple of times. He kept saying it felt scary, that he doesn't know what he's feeling but at other times, when I'm more distant he keeps charming me, calling me sweet names, complimenting.

Last week he said he wanted to try. The first day was bliss, we showered together, he carressed me, cuddled up, sang to me... but the next day he got the feeling again, the one from last year... He said he couldn't, it didn't feel right, couldn't even look me in the eye. As if he's afraid to talk to me, afraid to open up.

He wants to be friends, he says, but every time I even come near him, even after he says so, he's the one bringing his lips closer to mine...

What's up with that and what should I do?

[Ellynn]

He wants you physically, but anything beyond, I think scares him. Thats understandable, but he is NOT keeping your feelings in mind with all this back and forth. In this process, YOU are the one who keeps getting hurt.

IF your ok with a casual thing fine, but if I was in that situation, I would cut things off. I have been there.a guy wanting me and seeming perfect for me and then pushing me away. It sucks. But it also messes with your mind. NOT worth it!

[Zach]

Yeah, I would recommend cutting things off. He seems very unsure about what he really wants, and until then I think you should get out. If he keeps going back and forth you are going to get hurt. He needs to get his shit straight then come back. If not, then move on constructively.

[Lieslchen]

Thanks for your comments. I'm sure he isn't sure about anything at all. We've been together for about three years, we share a deep connection. But this way it won't work. He made a decision based on one moment. Everytime I want to cut things off, he keeps coming back to me...

It's hard for me to know that we could be so much more, but knowing he's so unsure about everything in his life won't make it possible... Next time he comes around, I'll have to be tough.

[SONOIL]

Yup, here's my two cents: Cut him lose. I've had a fiance like that and she wasn't sure about things so i had to break it. I'm still single, but i rather be single than be somebody's door mat. You should cut all contact with him and move on. Start ignoring him. Don't reply to his sms, delete his e-mails without reading and don't pick up the phone, better yet change the number.

[anachronistic]

do what your heart tells you. if you want to chase him, chase him. if you want him back, go get him. if not, you know what to do...

[jagmeow]

What a jerk.

Not worth it lady. Not worth it what so ever!

[Zach]

Do not be a door mat. You'll thank yourself later, Promise.

[Gigabitch]

I imagine you with one of those neon-bright wristbands you get at the carnival that says "Emotional Rollercoaster- Lifetime Pass".

Take that wristband off.

[Henry123]

I agree with what others has said its not worth it.
This time around he may be just using you for sex (think about it).
Stay away from him. He broke your heart once and chances are he will do it again.

[michaelmorgan]

Where have all the cowboys gone? Where are the real men?

Only you can find out his REAL fears. You say there is a deep connection, but still he is afraid to open up.
What about his parents? Are they divorced? Are they happily married?

And maybe the most important thing:
WHEN HE CAN'T LOOK YOU IN THE EYE HE IS NOT FIGHTING A DEMON THAT IS AROUND HIM....HE IS FIGHTING A DEMON INSIDE HIM. Your first move is to keep eye contact with him. And of course, stop kisses and sex if and when you will try to heal this man.

If you think you do need a resource to be tougher when you will face him, drop me a message and I will send you in private a little fast and most important, extremely powerful visualisation that has also worked wonders on myself when I needed to strengthen myself before or after emotional battles.

Best of luck!

[jrdmum]

I imagine you with one of those neon-bright wristbands you get at the carnival that says "Emotional Rollercoaster- Lifetime Pass".

Take that wristband off.

Thankyou for that little quote, i love it. reading your few words has opened my eyes in my own situation.... I too need to take the wristband off..
thankyou

[Gigabitch]

You were still wearing the wristband? Here. Here are some scissors.

[The Great OV!!!]

Chase your ex with an axe...baaaaa I made a funny!

[Gigabitch]

That WAS funny! I can think of a few exes that I might like to chase with an axe.