Big Problems

[jimmineycricket]

Oh where do I begin

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over three years now, we are both currently college students. He just move away to go to a different school about three months ago. Everything has been fine untill about a week ago; my bf called me up and proceeded to tell me that he no longer wanted to have sex of any kind and if I wanted sex then I should not come out and see him. This was caused by the fact that he feels that he has contracted genital herpes from me, even though he has not been tested, he is convinced. He has known the whole time we've been intimate that I have herpes, and has been okay with it. He is very mad at me right now and says he'll never forgive me. This I understand is normal because of the shock of what might be happening but he is getting incredible paranoid and a little obsessed with this. I don't know what to do because I really thought he was okay with it, and he had a full understanding of the risks. But he has stated that he does not want to have sex again untill he is prepared for children because his "luck has been down". Because of this we're hardly talking and he is now saying that he wants me to come down to see him to "keep up appearances" I am very confused with all of this, and would appreciate any third party perspectives on it.

[sfalexi]

Sounds like he's a moron. You told him you had it. You made sure he knew the risks and he still proceeded to say that he wanted to have sex with you. Now that he thinks he has it all of a sudden he's pulling a 180 and is pissed that you gave it to him? It WAS his choice to do the deed knowing that you had herpes.

As for the "keep up appearences" thing, sounds to me like he isn't that into you anymore (now that he has caught that STD from you). Sorry to say, but it looks to me like this guy is a loser. He's fine with everything so long as YOU'RE the one with the infection, and he's "ok" with genital herpes (as long as it's not HIM that has it). Now he does, and he's pissed off that he got it?! He's a hypocrite. He's fine with it until it happens to HIM. Then his entire story changes.

I say it's time to cut ties. Maybe it was a good three years, but this guy is going nuts over something the he KNEW from the get-go was a possibility, but was 'ok' with it then . . . until it ACTUALLY happened. Sounds like you deserve someone with a little more maturity.

Rod Steele

[Steve2004]

Ok..just..throwing in another posssibility. First..let me say this..no one is THAT stupid. Er..save a few people. The guy knew you had herpes...proceeded to have sex with you. Got it. Now is pissing and moaning about it. But..he just left to go to a college that is further away from you. He may have found someone else..and is finding a reason to break it off with you :/..which is horrible to say on my part. But it's possible

[Rach]

This guy is no longer worth your time! You told him you had herpes, he KNEW the risk he was taking. And now all of a sudden when the inevitable happens he contradicts himself and wants nothing to do with you other than to 'keep up appearances'....He is NOT worth it.

[blue]

Did you guys take proper precautions?
if so then hes bullshitting you