Personal dilemma..shes confused and now im confused.

[dazed24]

Hi there, firstly Im totally new to this forum and might seem a lil bad that i just joined today and already am posting a long winded post. Im not the type of person who likes to totally confide with my best friends so i guess this is where this forum comes to play. I hope you guys/girls can help me out with this personal dilemma of mine.

im in my early 20s and got to know this girl early this year whom i gradually began to like. Its safe to say that ive never liked any other girl this much. She has a boyfriend though but apparently her friends tell me that her bf has cheated on her and that they're on the rocks so i knew what i was getting into from the start eventhough i didnt know that I would eventually actually really fall for this girl.

When i finally told this girl that i liked her she said she liked me too (she has been asking my friends about me, she told me), and now with this problem im facing, ive no idea if im misreading any signals but if a girl texts you everyday and gdnight every single night for a few months and gives you a bday present after knowing each other for not that long of a time, that has to mean something doesnt it? That day i told her i liked her, she said she had a bf and eventhough they have problems he still is her bf but they are on the rocks. Trouble with this girl is that she likes to sidesteps any conflict and she'll just go "nevermind, we'll talk bout it some other time". I didnt realize how much i actually liked this girl when 1 night she told me she went out with the bf and her mom for dinner and she sensed that something was wrong and asked me if i was ok. I didnt really respond and she kept on asking and asking and asking and saying I could tell her anything that i lost it and just said, I was jealous. And we had a discussion and finally i said that I would let her go and we'll just stop whatever that is we're doing..but she said she still is with her bf and she shes not the type to leave 1 guy for another guy but if its possible she wants to get to know me better but still sidesteps the whole bf issue...she tells me she doesnt know if she wants to ask me to wait for her cause she doesnt want to hurt me even more if it doesnt pan out.

That was like a few weeks ago and i dont really text her that much now and she has asked me if i was avoiding her which i said no. She asks me when we'll be going out again like yesterday and i said I dont know and well we're pretty much at that stage right now. Its been bugging me alot and shes constantly on my mind. Ive been given the cliche advice that if shes worth it, worth the wait, that i should just maintain whatever that we have and just try wooing her. On the other hand, this has been going on for well..not that long, but for quite some time and truthfully im hurting each day. 1 minute im ok and the next Im having what seems like a semi anxiety attack. My mom of all people said, once she got wind of me being all easily irritated and stuff cause in general im a happy laid back kinda guy..if she could do this to her bf, whats stopping her frm doing it to me in the future? At times i feel like i should end this before i get really really hurt again and something tells me this time itll be worse.. and at times I just want to maintain whatever we have cause she's a good thing in my life. My best friend upon knowing this situation of mine told me that I should just change my number so that she wont bother me anymore but damn that sounds drastic and Im already confused if i should or even could let her go or not. And apparently she confided in this girl who knows me and she said that she can't/doesnt want to let me go.

Shes confused and now Im confused...what would you guys do in my position or if anyone has been in this situation before? Appreciate any advice, thanks for your time people!

[Jimmy1218]

Don't just avoid her! She has a bf and they're having rough times. So just be friends with her and when she breaks up with her bf, she's all yours.

[Illusional]

haha you robin hood.. well i would try and steal, but that's me.

you however, should probably wait because thieves are not welcomed here.

raverboy

[dazed24]

so...i should just wait it out...and just continue being friends with her? ...eventhough it hurts...

[Junket]

Wait...what?

I'm confused.

Now we're all screwed.

[Gigabitch]

I like that you were up front with her about your feelings- that was a very good thing to do.

Don't settle for being the Plan B guy. She knows you're available and interested. Now back off and let her make her decision. If you just hang around, "being there for her", she never has to make a decision- she gets to have you both. Don't let that happen. Don't be a weenie.

Your mom's right- she's not exactly reliable, is she? She needs to actually leave him for you to be convincing. Right now, she's just a girl who let her boyfriend cheat on her and is using you for emotional support. She's not scoring very high, by my standards.

I don't think you need to change your number, though.

[dazed24]

thanks for the advice people. Really apperciate it..

Gigabitch, thanks and i dont wanna settle for being the Plan B guy or the backup guy. My friend did say it sounds like and he says its a possibility shes just keeping me around as backup cause shes confused and evaluating her current bf. Thing is, it doesnt even seem like shes hanging around with the bf..she asks me out at night saying shes free and she has nothing to do..isnt that what a bf is supposed to do??

all very confusing...not gonna change my number though cause well, that just seems so overdramatic.

[Gigabitch]

.she asks me out at night saying shes free and she has nothing to do..isnt that what a bf is supposed to do??

That would be a very good question for you to ask her.

[dazed24]

a part of me thinks this girl is playing me big time. and shes hurting me terribly.

[Alloutornothing]

Just curious how has it worked out for u? im assuming your still in this dilema since the issued is still unresolved.

[dazed24]

heya alloutornothing, thanks for the concern (i hope its concern)..anyway, i ignored her few txt msges atfer this latest thing she did that hurt me big time, the worst so far...she then said that she deserved to know whats happening and i still cant bear to tell her how angry and hurt i am. I am really, a mess right now as i type this.