My ex says she wants to be friends... I still love her. Is there any hope? :(

[NitricShin]

Upon breaking up, my ex had told me that she still wanted to remain friends with me but wanted nothing more. At first, I agreed and told her that we could be friends. So yesterday, she and I had started talking to each other again... as friends. Nothing seemed to be going wrong, we both seemed happy and comfortable having conversation with each other (we texted each other for about 6 hours). We had both made each other laugh, everything just seemed normal... as if we were never really apart from each other.

Being the idiot that I am, I started to flirt with her during our 6 hour long text session. I started complimenting her, and calling her a cutie while she would just argue back saying that she wasn't and that I was a bully for telling her lies ^^;; we seemed to be getting along just fine... Our conversations didn't seem any different from the conversations we had during our relationship (minus all the affection we would express to each other)

I was sooo happy talking to her last night. She always knew how to cheer me up by making me smile and laugh when I was feeling down, and she did just that last night... The ugly part comes now...

Being all caught up with happiness, and joy from talking to her... I decided to tell her about my feelings something along the lines of:

"You really cheered me up today Charmaine, thanks (: I don't even know how to explain this. It just seems like whenever I talk to you, I just can't help but smile and feel happy about it. I know that we're no longer together, but you really do know how to make me happy... talking to you tonight made me start to remember the reasons why I fell in love with you in the first place... and it feels as if I'm falling in love with you all over again even though my feelings for you had never truly left... You're just something really amazing Charmaine, I just wished I could have treated you better than I did during our time together as a couple. I'm soo happy to have met you in my life, you've really taught me a lot about myself and I thank you for that... I just wished I could have one final chance with you... to prove to you how much I love you, and to prove to you how much I want to fix the mistakes that I made with you... I love you Charmaine... you really make me soo happy."

Yeah... that didn't go too well. Actually, I don't know. Here are some of her responses:

"David... We've been through this discussion several times. I just can't... I'm sorry."

I asked her why she couldn't, and she responded with, "mostly cause I just can't handle relationships right now..."

I told her that I understood, and that I would wait for as long as it takes for her to be ready to enter another relationship and she responds:

"David... I'm saying this for your own benefit... Although I'll regret saying it after... You can't wait up for me anymore. I just won't feel the same for you. And you can't just assume I'm the one for you when you're still young... You need to go out there and grow as a person, and not just fall for some niner who used to love you... I'm sorry but all I'm ever gonna see you as is a friend."

She doesn't think she'll ever be able to view me as a boyfriend anymore, and I asked her why again (I ask why way too much and I think it just pushes her away even more) and she just responds with an "I don't know. I just don't see it happening again."

Do you think it's really over? Do you think there is still a chance, that maybe... she still has feelings for me?

I should note that her parents are thinking of moving away to another city at the end of the school year too... I don't know if she still has any feelings left for me at all... I just wished... I never screwed up with her... she's really something amazing. I feel horrible for taking her for granted... I love her...

[HeartIsAching]

parents? How old are you two?

[BeingAlpha]

Its over - you need to move on....you cannot be friends with her right now and maybe never again. The risks of relationships is not just that you might get your heartbroken but ALSO that you might someday lose that person out of your life all together.

If you think of relationships as a chance at something more than just friends you also accept the chance that it can end and you will lose it all (including the friendship). I cannot be friends with my ex right now or anytime in the future..I could be friends with my ex ex -- only because I no longer feel anything for her. Move on...leave her alone....or at least minimize the amount of contact.

[xxazurexx]

She ended it, hard as it is, accept it. If you can't do friends, then don't even try to be her friend.

I suspect you decided to go the friends route and in the hopes she'd take you back. Sounds to me like 'friends' is all she wants and that is likely due to her wanting to relieve some guilt and for ending it - the usual reason why exes offer 'friendship'.

Personally I wouldn't want to be a friend to someone who had 'downgraded' me to a friend. It's the insult of all insults IMO.

[eonbar]

it sucks.
same happened to me. go back and look at my first few posts on here.

tried to drag it out as 'friends' at her request. did the whole texting, talking, ended up flirting ... trying to revert back, rejection, isolation, contact, ex-sex, heart break, being told she was sleeping with other guys, further chats, waiting for her, more talking, comforting, ex-sex again and again and again, texts, crying, more rejection .... blah blah blah blah BLAH

ended up hating myself, dragging it out for 5 months-ish, getting so low that i drowned myself in vodka, beer, women, self harm and music.

it was shit and tough but after these few months i know what i should have done.
its exactly what people say time and time again and theres a definite reason for it....

NO CONTACT.

seriously i think you should leave it.
in my head i had it planned that we were moving in together, gonna travel the world together, and then maybe think about whatever comes next ... kids, marriage ... whatever... it doesn't matter i guess cos she didn't want me. and as hard as i know it is i really think its the same in your case.

hundreds of millions of girls out there dude.
hate the expression plenty more fish in the sea when all you want is your old fish back ... but seriously pal. up and at 'um!

[Olenjka10]

Its sad to say but once you hear "Let's just be friends" it's over. It happened to me and i've done this myself and that reakky means that there is no hope. When i first heard that from the person i loved, i was humiliated. It's a serious downgrade. Don't settle for that. Life goes on, don't waste it. Good luck to you, wish i can be of a better help