Hello all,
I need advice.
Here is the situation:
I was dating a guy I met on Tinder and I feel deeply in love with him. Never ever felt this way before. Everything was going well, I told him I loved him pretty quickly (maybe 2 weeks after meeting him) and he said that he loved me too. I also asked him if we were boyfriend\girlfriend one night. He said that he would like that. The morning after, we both went to work and we kissed goodbye. Everything felt normal. He texted me in the morning asking me how everything was going at work. Later, I texted him at what time he was finishing work (thinking we would spend friday night together as we usually did). So we texted back and forth. But at some point, he stopped texting me completely. Nothing. I waited until the day after and I new something was up because he was MIA. I finally texted him saturday afternoon asking him how his night went. He only answered: ‘’Sorry, I have learned devastating news - really out of it..’’. Thats it. I texted him that i was there for him and that i loved him. He only said: ‘’thanks, thats nice of you’’. The day after, i was uncomfortable with the situation because i didn’t know where we stoop as a couple: so I asked him what this meant for us. He just said that he learned a family member was terribly sick and said: hope you weekend is going well, see ya’’. WTF. So i texted him: ‘’ok, well i hope the person gets better. but i feel like your ‘’see ya’’ is a farewell’’. He later texted me: ‘’sorry, but i really am out of it, learning you dad has a terminal cancer kinda puts a damper on things’’. So i didin’t text him for 2 weeks, gave him his space. Texted him 2 weeks later to ask how he was doing and we had small talk. So i asked him if we could go get coffee to what he answered pretty quickly: yes, for sure. ANd we went for coffee later that night. He seemed so sad. He told me that he could not spend any energy on our relationship right now and this was the time he had to be selfish and think about his family. I said I understood but had no idea how I would move on from this. He said him neither. I gave him his shirt back and we parted ways. But when i was home, i texted him saying something like: ‘’i love you , i cannot imagine spending a day without you. That I will respect his choice if he wants me to butt off, but that i can also listen to him, no string attached’’. To what he answered: ‘’thanks, its very appreciated’’ lol. 2 days later, he was liking my pictures on instagram. Weird.
2 weeks later, i texted him: ‘’how are things? We should go grab a coffee or a drink, what do you think’’. and … HE NEVER ANSWERED.
Now, it’s been a month and we haven’t been in contact. BUT I CANNOT GET OVER HIM. And im mostly mad. I understand that he is going through something, bu i really am having a hard time letting go because i have no closure, because he never answered….
I know I cannot judge how people deal with this type of situation, but: he is still working, posts picture on instagram\facebook. He continues his life. I just don’t understand we he didin’t answer. it takes 2 seconds to tell me to butt off or whatever. I deleted him from instagram and facebook.
Now, I cannot stop wondering if he is lying, if our short ‘’relationship’’ (1 month!!!) meant anything to him.
You must know that I have really bad anxiety issues and I told him about it. And I am also very intense (very wild and funny lol) and loud.
Also, in the month we spent together, he met all my friends multiple times, even met my parents… but NEVER have i met his friends or family (met his sister briefly).
Here are my questions:
- Should I text him (I have no idea what I would say)? I really dont want to seem clingy.
- I do i get closure from this?
- Am I holding on to something that is not there?
- is it weird that i never got to meet his friends during our short time together?
Thanks guys