What is it women REALLY want?

[robert01]

Ok ladies, a little ranting, but I could really use some advice.

TIme and again I have had girls reject me for total dbs. I'm talking uneducated, unskilled manipulating manwhores who only care about themselves. I think I get it - rebel, NSA, bad boy thing. That, in itself, might be understandable. But, the problem is these girls eventually get dissed by these guys to a point they get hurt and then they come running to me because they know I'ma good guy. It's not just as a friend, they want a safe, respectful, caring relationship. Usually by this point, they have really dissed me in the past, mostly just from the excitement of the being with the bad body, and done things with these guys that make their own character and trustworthyness questionable in general. So, I have no choice but to tell them no. Then they get mad at me for rejetcting them. So, it is a lose, lose situation except for the bad boy who simply moves on to the next.

I'm not a loser. I'm not clingy, needy or a doormat. I'm fairly interesting, funny, caring, bla, bla bla I am may or may not be looking for a LTR, depends on the girl. But why has almost every girl I know done this? First, these girls were not tricked or made mistakes. Their eyes were wide open and they fully knew the reputation of these guys as well as my own. They had to know they would be used. Then, why do they feel it is my fault when I won't be there to pick up the pieces? I love being a friend and helping others with problems, but it seems these girls simply care only about themselves to a very egocentric degree were I feel it is in nobody's best interest to help. I don't like this.

Are there girls that aren't like this and don't live in a semenary? What is wrong with a good guy first time around? What can I do to short-circuit this process and make it db free? Some have told me to act like to db, womanizer first to attract women and then be the nice guy. But why do I have to act like a db to get the girl? Why can't I just be me?

[smackie9]

Because you are boring. And you don't have to be douchy..... just be confident, and have some mystery, be a challenge....drop the friendship thing....being dependable and always there, makes you look too eager to please....that's a turn off. Being less available makes you desirable..the girls have to earn your attention.

[Love'sReject]

You have to be douchey; broads are wired to crave douches.

[smackie9]

BTW the dynamics of what you have observed is distorted. No all guys use girls like toilet paper. These girls that get dumped are making the same mistake, they make themselves too available, eagerly sleep with them, become too emotionally attached way too fast, .... that would scare away most guys. Just because you get sexually involved with someone doesn't mean it's going to turn into a committed relationship, period! It's like buying a used car, you have to kick a few tires before you find the right one. Dating is trial and error. These girls have to realize if there is no compatibility to keep the interest going and increase the chemistry, they are destined to get dumped. These guys demand more than the guy with less experience that would take what they can get.

[smackie9]

ooooh! the Virginator has struck again!

[Love'sReject]

Well, OP wanted an expert opinion....

[basilandthyme]

Usually by this point, they have really dissed me in the past, mostly just from the excitement of the being with the bad body, and done things with these guys that make their own character and trustworthyness questionable in general. So, I have no choice but to tell them no. Then they get mad at me for rejetcting them. So, it is a lose, lose situation except for the bad boy who simply moves on to the next.

So in short, you're not willing to have a girlfriend who's learned for her mistakes. Do you know most of us have dated poor choices - and though this we further learn what we want from a relationship? It's all part of learning about ourselves.

Unless these girls were outright rude to you, I'd give them a chance.

[michelle23]

I think the advice you have been give so far is bad actually. You should be yourself. I am a confident high self esteem women, independant, good looking, great attitude, positive etc and i would never go near a man like that. They are little boys who treat women like toys. Keep your integrity. I think you should just change your type. It seems like your stuck in some sort of pattern and go after the same type of girls time and time again. Dont meet girls in bars/clubs etc. Join a hobby or something or else take your time sussing a girl out before you ask her out.

Take your time and you will find someone who deserves you.

[smackie9]

Well, OP wanted an expert opinion....

What an expert on knowing nothing about women?? with a narrow mined sense of perception like out poster?

[rob1984]

haha good one... OP just be yourself bro.. also give em attention when they tell you.. hey Were not communicating, nor hanging out much.. and see what happens lol..

[robert01]

What an expert on knowing nothing about women?? with a narrow mined sense of perception like out poster?

Ok, this is what I am talking about. So please Sensei, enlighten me. Tell me what you mean by 'narrow minded sense of perception'. And don't say I think all women are sluts, because I don't. I just want to know what it is I fail to realize. Maybe it is not about women, but myself.

[rob1984]

actually, yes womanizer first then bf material after.. read david d'angelo.. its what he talks about. I did, it worked for me.. i was mr nice guy.. ended up friendzoned too many times

eg.. wow mary, he seemed like a womanizer when you met him, but you changed him " or something like that.. you know.. just read the book you can find a pdf online

[smackie9]

You have nice guy syndrome. You drown yourself in the notion that all women go for douchy guys and most guys who are confident are douchy and treat women bad...you sit there all bitter watching them make their moves that gets them the girl .

[michelle23]

I still think you are getging really bad aice here. Try not to become too friendly with a girl and set your standards high. Make sure they no from the start that your interested in her but dont come on too strong until she does. Also dont agree with everything she says or follow her around like a lost sheep. Take the lead, be in control of dates etc but make sure womem know u are a nice person who wont use or abuse them. This way u will attract the right people.

[michelle23]

The only women who are attracted to players/bad boys are either suffering from a broken heart, insecure or loves drama so u dont need to change who you are to get a girl. Seriously people this is really vad advice. Tellibg him to turn into the type of man that most healthy women hate is not cool.