I don`t know what decision to make

[squestion]

Hi, I am in a difficult situation. After a relationship that lasted 3,5 years, I broke up with my boyfriend ( who is 20 years older than me, please don`t judge). After we broke up we continued being friends, we hang out together, we were friends with benefits. He still loves me very much, but I care about him and nothing more. The problem is that I have problems at home, I can`t handle it anymore, my little brother who is 14 started smoking, he refuses to study, he creates a very very negative atmosphere in the family and I can`t take it anymore, I am a nerve-wrack, I can`t concentrate, I am always depressed, it`s not a good environment in my house, I really can`t explain how affected I am.

So, here`s the deal. I was complaining about this to my ex and I said very often to him that after finishing the university, I would like to leave home and move alone in a studio with rent. He offered to move in with me, because he feels sorry about my situation and that I am very unhappy. He offered to pay the rent until I find a job, and I will cook for him etc. He said he doesn`t want to be my boyfriend again, that he understands I don`t love him anymore, he just wants to get me out of this mess at my house. The problem is I would like to move in with him so that I could have some peace and quiet, but I am not attracted that much to him, I know that we will have sex when staying together, it`s inevitable. But for example If I find a guy that I am attracted to, I won`t know what to do, because he`ll eventually find out. Althouh, this is highly improbable, because I have been trying to find someone this year and I can`t seem to see any interesting guy, I`m doomed

What do you think I should do ? Should I move in with him so that I could stop being so depressed even though I am not attracted to him anymore ? I am so confused, I really really need this change, because otherwise, I will kill myself if I stay another year with my family please help

[squestion]

no advice ?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Can you not get a job and get a shared house or apt. with someone?

[devonbrown]

There are other options than just taking this guy up on his offer. BackUpOrGetStng had a couple of ideas there. I would also suggest finding more things to do outside of your household, interests, activities, friends, etc. This would do a couple things - it would get you away from a stressful situation and it would get you around others with the same interests as you, thus expanding your dating pool some.
Basically, don't prostitute yourself in any manner for anyone.
And, killing yourself should never even be mentioned as an option.

Good luck.

[squestion]

When I said I will kill myself, I didn`t really meant it, it was metaphorically, to make you understand the hard time that I am going through at my house. And please don`t come with this advice anymore " finding more things to do outside of your household, interests, activities, friends, etc. This would do a couple things - it would get you away from a stressful situation and it would get you around others with the same interests as you, thus expanding your dating pool some." Maybe in other countries there are oppurtunities to do other things, like volunteer and stuff, but in my country you do not have these options, specially in my town, there is nothing to do, it`s a dead town. And I can`t just find a job, I haven`t graduated university yet and it is very hard to find a job, at least in my country. A lot of youngsters don`t have a job, even if they went to university, it`s just a shitty country And even if I had any other activity, I mean come on, I would still come back home to sleep, right ? and in the weekends, believe me, nothing can distract me from the mess at my house. And it is easy to say to find a roomate to live with but I just moved in this town for 2 years and I don`t know anyone who lives in rent, the few people I know are going to get married. And I really can`t live with anybody if I don`t know them, it`s out of my comfort zone, it`s strange for me and I need my privacy, I don`t like being near strangers. And I can`t afford a rent by myself because I don`t have a job and I don`t know when I will get one, because of this recession.

And I`m not prostituting myself, I have known this guy for 6 years, my parents appreciate him, you`re talking as if he is a pimp and I am living with him and have sex for money :| And I said that we will have sex because I still care about him and we had sex after we broke up so why not having it when moved together ?

Any other suggestion ?

[adart123]

If you kill yourself.then, you will damage or spoil your life.It's not better. you can try for a job or any job and you can stay away alone from home and make your friends.You should not be move with your ex because if you are not attracted towards him,then, you can not stay for a long term with him.So, don't spoil his life also.
If you really depressed from your life, then, you can do various activities to refresh your mood like go for movies, chat with friends and ignore the tension which are building in your home and always busy yourself.

[JBELL]

Basically right you don't want to be with the guy but if you move in with him you might give him false hope or you'll end up with someone 20 years older than you who you can't have a future with and you'll just end up on this forum in a years time asking the same question.

If life is that tough at home try and find another way to get out otherwise stick it out either way i think if you stay or if you move in with this guy there both going to end with you being unhappy its just which one is easier.

Just know what your getting yourself into with this guy!

Hope that wasn't too blunt for you