I am a girl who is not confident about LOVE in a relationship. Now I meet a problem.It's really hard for me to write everything down here. I just need help!
I've been in a relationship with a man for nearly a year. He's from other country and much older than me.
I was in great depression when he stepped into my life. He helped me go through it and get me live better both materially and spiritually. He lighted my life and made me happy and see hope for life again. He taught me a lot about basic life skills and other things-he's much older than me. He comforts me when I am sad or crying. He's been trying to make me happy and study well and work well. I am a poor university student.I couldn't make enough money for living which means that i couldn't buy myself clothes sometimes. He always buy me this and that when he finds I need something. He calls me regularly to say hello to me(we can not meet each other very often because of work). He helped me get the current job which is easy and much more comfortable. He's done many things for me! I really appreciate it!
And I really care for him. I would even feel hurt in heart when he cut himself when shaving. I think of him everyday. I miss him a lot! I always go to his place watching movies and enjoy life with him. I would always help clean the house every time. I've been feeling calm, happy, and hopeful when staying with him doing whatever we want or nothing. I am a shy girl actually and don't say much but do a lot to show my care for him. I love kissing him and hugging him. I enjoy giving him massage every night when I am with him. I do everything for him and feel that I can not live without him.
We enjoy the time spent together.
But problems still come.
He asked me to keep the relationship between him and me because we are in the same school(lots of people would know the relationship and ask about it and there would be rumours about him and me-he is a foreign guy and I am a Chinese student and both live on campus) He doesn't want anyone on campus to know about the relationship and he told me that it's just about me and him, nothing to do with other people. Then I have to sneak into and out of his house everytime.
Once we meet on campus, we have to pretend that we are just common friends. He's afraid of being seen with me hand in hand or having any intimate behaviours outside which I really don't understand.
He's a foreign guy, much older than me, never married.
He has lots of friends here, most of which are female. I do know he had sex with other women. I just don't mention it in front of him.
Now I just don't understand why he does all these things. Do I really matter to him? Or is he just a playboy?