i am in a total mess and need help desperatly. about 2 1/2 years ago, i helped a friend bust her husband cheating online. i made a fake myspace and we caught him. well in the time of having the fake page, it had to look legit, so i would add people and when people would send me friends request i would add them. and i talked to quite a few of them online only.. the page looked real enough to do the job that needed to be done. well in the midst of all of this, i got a friends request from this guy and i added him. we sent messages and comments back and forth for a couple of weeks.. no harm no foul. it was all ok. then it progressed to talking online via a messanger.. all day long. and then eventually it was the phone with talking and texting. befire i knew it i had fallen for him.. and bad. i am totally and completely in love with him. and i never told him for the longest time because he was married. he always wanted me to come and see him and i was always able to come up with some excuse not to.. sometimes i had to make something up, but it always worked. until recently.. a couple of months ago his wife told him she wanted a divorce.. she hasnt been happy the last 9 years of their marriage and she has kinda been seeing someone else. so with all of that he has told me how he has felt about me.. that he has fallen in love with me and he loves me and wants to be with me.. i am now at a point that i cannot make up anymore excuses not to see him.. i either go to where he is or he is gonna come here.. (he lives 1200 miles away). i know it was wrong of me to do this and to let it get as far as it has gotten.. and honestly there were probably a couple of times i could have told him the truth and i didnt because i knew i would lose him. and i know that i am going to lose him.. and i have no one to blame but myself.. it is going to kill me to do it, but i know that i have to. he tells me all the time he loves the person that i am.. and things. but the truth is he wouldnt love me on the outside... not that i am dog meat to look at or anything.. but im a bigger girl, and he just isnt into that.. so i have set myself up for a pretty big hurt.. and its all my fault and i know it. i have told so many stories and lies to get me out of things, that i dont know anymore. i just need help with figuring out how to end it.. and it has to happen soon... i cant put him off any longer.. i know i have done wrong, and probably deserve what is going to be coming.. but i just dont know how to tell him the truth or how to end it..