ok I guess i'll start at the beginning. about 6 months ago a girl from germany (i'm from england) contacted me via icq and we start talking. we would chat about one a week for the next few months mostly talking about stupid things. that was untill last week when suddenly i fell for her completely. i mean the things we were talking about seemed silly at the time i know.. we had never met and i had never even saw her picture. however, we would talk about how cool things would be if we met up and stuff. and by the end of the week we was even talking about if we had kids together what we would name them.... i know i seem mad. but it was like i was in a dream or something.. it's really hard to explain.. i just loved her writing and loved the things we would talk about.. so much so that i was waiting by my computer all day so i could reply to her emails right away.... i felt real good about everything and i'm sure she did too.. i wrote her a real letter and sent flowers. all in this one week...and then i ask her for a picture.. and it's not that she's ugly, its just she is not my type at all. well she just aint someone i'm physically attracted to.. instantly i feel like shit.. i was on such a high and have been knocked right down... i feel sick that i could suddenly change like that.. i can't belive i'm this shallow..i hate myself so much right now.. and also i feel heart broken at the same time... but most of all i feel so bad for her.. we were on such a high and i just don't know what i can say to her.... i just wish i never asked... we could have been talking like that forever and it would have been great... but now i just find it hard to write to her.. i have this on my mind all the time..i feel terrible about it... she is gonna notice something is wrong and i would hate to offened her in anyway.. i don't know what to do.. and i know everyone is gonna say that i should be honest but i can't do it..i just hate myself so much right now and i don't know what i'm going to do... i feel literally ill right now...
david