What's love got to do with it?

[bob the brave]

I was talking to a friend the other day. She has a great long marriage with two lovely children. She talked about all the intangiable qualities of her husband, caring, introspective, intelligent along with a bunch of little character ideosyncrocies she found endearing. Then she said, but of course, when we first met it was all physical.

Then I read an article in which a short guy had leg extension surgery to make himself 2" taller. He fell in love and got married. His wife, upon finding out later said, I love him now, but I would never have married him had he been 2 inches shorter. So, if they had to reverse the surgery fro some reason, would she divorce him?

Do you think love can exist without physical attraction? Can a person's inner qualities like intelligence, integrity, humor and caring nature win out. Anyone ever have a relationship in which the initial attrafction was not based on physical qualities?

[michelle23]

I was in a relationship with a guy I wasnt attracted to for 8 months. It didnt work. I just wanted to give him a makeover the whole time and I kept him at arms lenght-never getting too close.

I didnt really understand at the time. I was young and he was my first bf. I knew from the start something was missing or wrong but I wasnt sure what. There was no spark or chemistry or lust and it was a fairly boring relationship overall.

I think there needs to be attraction and even if you are married 20 years you both still need to make an effort to look your best.

Women-exercise, stay in shape, get your hair done, wear nice clothes that suit your figure, make an effort every day to look your best and make sure you have nice teeth and a nice smile coz it doesnt matter how good looking you are. Bad teeth will make you ugly.

Men-exercise, stay in shape, wear nice clothes, get your haircut regularly, if your going bald just shave your head, shave your face regularly (unless your woman likes the whole beard thing-i dont), and again keep those teeth looking pristine!

Also try to smell nice-perfume, deodrant etc and have excellent personal hygiene.

[smackie9]

Physical attraction is what (by nature) brings us together for a relationship. Maintaining attraction is just one of those key factors for a relationship to be sustainable for the long haul. So no I never had an attraction that wasn't based on the physical, but physical is just a starting point. I couldn't have a relationship with someone purely on physical attraction. They need to have a good personality, and have lots in common as well.

[smackie9]

To add not everyone has the same idea of what is attractive. Michelle did make some good points tho, by dressing decently, and having good hygiene is very important part of being attractive to others.

[smackie9]

Bad teeth will make you ugly.

OMG Michelle this happened to two of my girl friends. One was flirting with a guy in a restaurant, the other showing me a profile pic of a guy she met for a date off the net....once the guys revealed to them most disgusting smiles they ever saw (teeth missing ew!), it was over lol.

[HeartIsAching]

I do believe that love can exist without physical attraction. The initial stages of most relationships do start with physical attraction, but it's only one component of a gestalt.

For example, my 2nd wife was and is not particularly attractive physically. However, she was and is one of the most intelligent people I've ever met, had a wicked sense of humor and was great in bed. She's also the only one I'm still friends with - real friends, hang out and BS friends, call to catch-up-every-now-and-then friends, so she's one that I still effectively hold some love for... just not the kind anymore where we want to live together or **** anymore.

[Love'sReject]

OMG Michelle this happened to two of my girl friends. One was flirting with a guy in a restaurant, the other showing me a profile pic of a guy she met for a date off the net....once the guys revealed to them most disgusting smiles they ever saw (teeth missing ew!), it was over lol.

Maybe they were hockey players?

And nope, not for women: they only crave hot bad guys, aka douchebags.

[michelle23]

Haha smackie thats funny! Its so true tho. I always think their a junkie or something if there teeth are missing. Such a turn off!

I agree hat looks are not everything. It doesnt matter how good looking someone is if they have a shit personality. That makes them unnattractive

[smackie9]

Everyone is different I guess, but I can't be in love with someone without finding them attractive. Like I said tho, what I might find attractive, may not be the norm for others.

[lamobatsman]

ohysical attraction is important otherwise ur just friends