Is it too late?

[khv]

So my ex broke up with me 2 months ago. I half expected it, but it still hurt a lot. Looking back on it, I realize that I did a lot wrong, and it's going to be hard to fix. While she was breaking up with me, I pretty much made all the mistakes I could've. I just acted really needy and insecure during that time, which only pushed her further away. I contacted her that night to tell her I was OK with everything and I thought it was a good idea. 4 days later she contacted me telling me she had a dream about me and has been thinking about me. 2 weeks later she got involved with another guy, they have been going out since. This is where I made the second mistake of seeing if she wanted to go shopping with me as friends. She said that she would love to at first, but when the day came, she made up an excuse not to go. 2 weeks after that she contacted me again just asking how I was, then again 2 days after that. I responded to these messages, but hadn't initiated contact with her since I asked her to go shopping. She also still carries around the stuff animal I gave her for her birthday, I just figured that would be worth mentioning. then 2 weeks after she contacted me, I contacted her asking if she wanted to go to the boardwalk. This was this week. She did the same thing, at first she thought it was a great idea. But when the day came, I called to confirm, she said "You do this all the time! I hate you and I never want to see you again!"

then I made another mistake, I contacted her again after that. I basically said that "I think it would be a shame to throw away such a good friendship and I hope that we can be friends again one day. But I don't need you. I used to and that was a big part of my problem."

I really shouldn't have sent that, it would've been better for me to just leave her alone, she hasn't responded to that message, and I don't think she's going to.

I really think I screwed it up this time. I was trying to move to fast, I should've just tried to maintain consistent friendly contact for a while before trying to see if she wanted to go out. I'm really just moving backwards at this point. I probably could've saved the relationship had I done the right things early on, but I've made so many mistakes. I still love her and wish that things could still work out. Is this beyond repair?

[Dune]

Don't worry I know how you feel.. I was pretty much in the same situation as you, and I broke off with my girl almost about the same time too. I've made mistakes just like you have, and like clockwork, it sent her running even further. Took me awhile to realise but now, I've been keeping myself from talking to her. We haven't spoke to each other for about 1 and a half months.

I hate the fact that your girl is rebounding (I'm pretty sure my ex is rebounding around too, though I'm too tired to bother). It doesn't sound fair, and honestly, with you trying to win her back despite her being like this, I must say it does make you look a lil desperate. It seems that all the times you've spoken to each other, things seem to get more compounded. I would suggest to just let things rest for a while. Give her and yourself some time. If it makes you feel better, let her know that you're taking some time off. IMO, keeping continuous contact, for me, made it hard to see things straight, as every time I spoke to my ex, I seem to be drawn back into my old pattern.

My opinion - It is NOT beyond repair but your chances at the moment is pretty slim if you ask me. But you've forgotten to mention the reason for the break up so it's pretty hard to tell.

[khv]

To be honest, to this day I still don't know what the reason was. She just kind of stopped talking to be about 2 weeks before the breakup. Then she told me that she didn't think it felt right, and she didn't like the title of relationship. But she wanted to stay really close friends. Although I'm sure that her opinion has since changed.

Also, her friends told me that she used to cry about breaking up with me for weeks before she actually did, but she just didn't know how to tell me. But when she was with me during this time, everything was happy and it seemed like nothing was wrong. I'm still on very good terms with all of her friends by the way.

[Cinnabella]

How could she be with someone else after a very short time you guys broke up? I couldn't do that.

[Dune]

Beats me.. I feel that those people who rebound are too weak/don't love their partners enough to do such disrespectful things.

[khv]

So she just called me today to tell me that she's really sorry about what she said and she didn't mean it...

Also, her and her new bf seem to be spending every waking moment together, is that normal?

[freakyfresh]

So she just called me today to tell me that she's really sorry about what she said and she didn't mean it...

Also, her and her new bf seem to be spending every waking moment together, is that normal?

That's fine and also a very good start to her apologising! Also, what she's doing now is defiantly rebounding, depending on of course how long your relationship was chances are it's a dead cert.

And yes, it is 'normal' is such cases. As humans we all want to be loved and cared for, no-one likes being alone. She's in the 'honeymood' stage of her relationship... and chances are (As i've actually experienced and got my ex back after her rebounding) after a few months it'll all go down the pan because jumping from relationship to relationship doesn't work.

What you really need to do now is leave her too it. Let her make her decisions and feel the void without you. I mean put it this way, if she's contacting you and apologising when she's with this new bloke, she defiantly hasn't forgotton about you and a chance you 2 might get back together.

Don't contact her or ask her to do stuff eg going to a movie etc. Let her do all the initial contacting. She will miss you! Also, if she contacts you, but polite and don't give anything away. Just pull back and chill out, she's not going anywhere!

In the meantime of this, concentrate only on yourself and don't hold back from other girls... by which i mean fun, nothing serious. Good luck bro!

[khv]

How long do these rebounds typically last? Because it's been almost a month now and they're still spending every possible moment together. And I haven't spoken with her in close to 3 weeks. Is all of this to be expected? Should I just keep doing nothing?

[Cinnabella]

Can be 6 months.

[khv]

So we went to the same party last night... while I was talking to her friend, whom she was sitting next to, she was staring at me like she used to the entire time. And when I was done talking she actually had the nerve to ask me for a ride home. I really didn't want to give her a ride home, so I told her that it was kind of out of the way and it would be really inconvenient for me. She probably caught on that it was a lie, but whatever. Then as soon as she gets home, she puts up a ton of pictures of her and her new bf.... Which actually pissed me off a lot more than I would've expected. So I'm sorry if I sound pissed off, it's because I am. Any ideas on what I should do at this point?

[Boisdevie]

What to do at this point? Forget about her completely, Whether she's on a rebound, she is gone man, gone. And the chances of you ever getting her back I would put at just about zero. Move on