I feel betrayed... should I?

[hopeful2011]

Few months ago, I found old emails between my fiance and his cousin. I've been with my fiance for 4 years now since 2006 and the emails were dated between 2006-2008. I knew when I first started dating him that him and his cousin were somewhat close, because he told me she was suicidal and he was being there for her... BUT, the impression I got from reading the emails was that he was actually in love with her. He apparently set her name as a password, her picture was set as a wallpaper on his phone, he called her every night, he repeatedly wrote he loved her, and when they had an argument at some point and she stopped talking to him, he was really upset and wrote to her numerous times expressing just how much he missed her and wanted to talk to her again. I have confronted him with these emails and to this day he maintains that the loved her like a sister, nothing more, and that he was just being there for her because she was depressed, and that i'm crazy for even thinking he could have romantic feelings with his cousin. But that explanation just doesn't jive with the e-mails! Anyways, I am feeling very hurt and betrayed by all of this because we were together when all of this happened with his cousin.... Am I correct in feeling this way??? Please help....

[rcwood84]

At the risk of sounding harsh, it would be pretty ignorant and vile for him to actually develop feelings for a blood relative. Especially if he is a grown adult; people should know better than that.Perhaps you are just blowing it out of proportion. I just find it far fetched that somebody could even do that nowadays between cousins. a child or teenager, i can see them being confused into feeling such things but this...i dont know.

it sounds fishy.

I would honestly cut him loose if he is capable of being so delusional to the point of falling in love with a blood relative and emotionally cheating on his girlfriend. im in a graduate psychology program and my advice is to give him an ultimatum to go to counseling. it sounds like indeed something sketchy was going on and if she was suicidal, mental illness might run in the family. i would say therapy is the only hope for survival of you relationship with this man, unless you are satiated with a twisted and dysfunctional relationship. take care of yourself and realize you deserve to be in a healthy and productive relationship

[hopeful2011]

Thanks for your reply rcwood84. I just wanted to add that he and his cousin have not talked in over a year now and I don't think she ever felt anything romantically for him...