Tense situation with girlfriend's parents; has gone on for years.

[lilrush]

Alright I'm going to try and explain as much of this as possible, and provide background info on the parents i'm dealing with.

First of all, I have been going out with a girl for a little over two years and her parents are extremely strict and controlling.
For the first 8 months or so that we dated, she pretended she was going out "with friends" so that her parents weren't suspicious of anything. She was scared to tell them she had a boyfriend because of what their reaction might be. They would clearly freak out and restrict her to barely ever going out to try and "protect her".

We were by no means assuming or guessing that her parents would react negatively, because it had already been proven with her older sister. Her older sister was dating a guy for years and was scared to tell her parents. It was a very tense situation because her sister's boyfriend was an american soldier who was raised with very different morals than their own. The parents put so much pressure on her that eventually they pushed her away and she married him in hawaii behind their backs.

They found out over a year later and were INFURIATED. It has been about 3 years since and they have seemed to calm down but refuse to forgive her for marrying behind their backs.

Back to my situation. For the first 8 months she lied to her parents and we pulled crazy missions just to get her out of her house (which is the equivalent to fort knox in this situation). Even when I finally did get her out, her parents would call her every hour or sometimes even more, just to check if she was actually with her friends. On a few occasions, they even asked to SPEAK with her friends to prove they were there, so we had to keep a few of her friends close by!

On some occasions, they even DROVE BY to check up on her wherever she said she was, and I had to duck or hide. After 8 months, they caught her in a lie and grounded her for a month. I barely saw her at all. I skipped a few of my classes to visit her at school, and saw her maybe twice during that month.

Although they caught her in a lie, it wasn't about me, it was just a lie about where she was going. They didn't know about me yet. So she confessed and told them about me.

As expected, they FLIPPED OUT. They began finding ANY reason to ground her. Even when she wasn't grounded, they put a number restrictions in place, a few examples; no going out more than one day a week. no staying out past 10 unless at a family event, etc.

After a while, the restrictions became so severe that we weren't seeing eachother AT ALL. Literally, there were periods of a month at a time were we didn't even see eachother! So she started skipping classes to see me. Eventually, she missed too many of one class and failed it.

It is now summer and she is grounded indefinetly. I confronted her parents and told them that soon she will be an adult and they cannot ground her. They insist that if she is to live there, she is to do as they say, implying that she will have a roof over her head as long as she plays by the rules.

SO basically to sum it up:
I met her parents TWICE in these two years. There was one good encounter with her mom, but her dad is continually hostile towards me. I have done everything to help this! I send them gifts on christmas and my parents make them cookies and cakes to send to their house!

I have done nothing wrong and yet they simply do NOT want me to see her. On one occasion, they suggested that she find a guy from their race instead. (They are spanish, I am english canadian).

For more than 2 years I have been playing this dangerous little cat and mouse game with her parents and barely seen her at all.
After 2 years, they still consider me trouble and blame me for all of the problems in her life.
After 2 years, I still havent met her brother.
After 2 years, I still havent stepped foot in her home, or even her front door!
2 years of my and her life down the drain, they are STEALING our youth from us and she is too weak to stand up against them! They have broken her spirit and on many occasions yelled her into tears.
WHEN will this stop?!?! Her parents told me that she will continue to face these restrictions until she is married with kids.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?
ME and her have already sacrificed more than 2 years of youth and were are expected to give another 5-7 away!?!?!

WHAT DO I DO?!!
We love eachother and are honestly the perfect couple, but her parents are literally crushing us and taking our lives from us!
Please, any help would be greatly appreciated.

[TheTooya]

Baggage, does you has enough?

[lilrush]

^^ I dont understand

[Gigabitch]

If she's under 18, there's not much you can do.

[lilrush]

Yes but my point is that she is turning 18 soon and will be an adult but her parents said she can only live there if she follows the rules and she is much too weak to stand up against her parents and she fears being kicked out.
What my question is is what actions should me + her take once she turns 18?
I do not want to lose any more time, life is too short!

[vashti]

They have made themselves pretty clear, so I'm not sure what more you want. She either follows their rules, or moves out and becomes financially responsible for herself. Her choice.

[girl68]

That's right you either dump her a find a girl who won't take that shit. There's lots of them out there. If you refuse what you do is waht you have done, try and keep trying though you'll never win.

The battle you are fighting is racial they cannot and will not change their minds unless you somehow become spanish and clearly that's impossible.

So really what are your choices? Get her to move out, which being a weak person as you describe- that won't happen and her parents know that. Or you suck it up and deal with it until she is ready to move out.