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Thread: how to lose my crush and stop stalking

  1. #1
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    how to lose my crush and stop stalking

    Please do not give me tips to get the girl but in general how can I reduce my feeling for her.

    Here is my story.

    I am kind of short, nerdy, greeky, and loser type of a guy. I love this girl in my class (my class contain 320 students). She is beyond beautiful in my eye, I love her personality and her characteristics and almost everything about her. She doesn't know me that good. I told her, I liked her via facebook but she rejected me. I still have an access to her facebook account since we both are in the same class.

    I am so addicted to her, I dream of her almost every night. This is first time in my life I ever felt this way. I look at her pictures like 15 times a day. When I look at her picture, I cry because I know I am not going to her. I always think about her; it is so bad that it is effecting my education and my life. I think, I am in depression because of her. I love her so much, I am willing to suffer and die for her. I am like a semi-stalker, I know everything about her, I keep doing research online about her. Even though we are still stranger, what hurt her, hurts me even more. For example, one of her close friend did not include her in her top 5 friends, this got me so angry and mad.

    Totally weird is the fact that I hate being her boyfriend/husband because I will be embarrassing her (because everyone view me as a loser, it is the reality). In other words, her friends will look down at her and will have pride that they have much better bf/husband than her.

    I think, I still have a chance because she doesn't know me well, she might give me a chance after knows me real good in real life. One thing about her is she very hard to get (I do not think she falls for guys easily and she not those flirting type girls).

    I try next semester to get her, as for now, please help me get rid of my feelings.
    Last edited by winter32842; 26-12-09 at 02:49 PM.

  2. #2
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    You told her right away that you like her on facebooK? Did you add her as friend at least first? It could be out of nowhere for her. There is no real medication for liking someone like this other than trying to avoid thoughts of them and the only way is to keep yourself busy.
    "Why are you an atheist?"
    "because I paid attention in science class."

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Only-virgins View Post
    You told her right away that you like her on facebooK? Did you add her as friend at least first? It could be out of nowhere for her. There is no real medication for liking someone like this other than trying to avoid thoughts of them and the only way is to keep yourself busy.
    I like said, she doesn't know me that much in real life. I private messaged her that I liked her but she never replied back to me. I know for sure, she got the message.

    I just want to, how can I stop thinking about her. Like I said, whenever, I think about her, I become sad (few times I literally cried) because she rejected me and because something tells me that I am not going to get her. She is too good for me.

  4. #4
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    What is this "she is to good for me" crap? No one is to good for any one else. People simply choose who they spend their time and lives with. I honestly don't think you even got a rejection. Most women wouldn't reply to a private message instantly or at all if it said it liked them right away. You should have started small. Just added her as a friend and seen if she approved.
    "Why are you an atheist?"
    "because I paid attention in science class."

  5. #5
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    You first really just need to calm down. You sound like you have a LOT of issues with girls, relationships, and a lot of issues in genearal.

    You're completely freaking out about a girl you know basically nothing about. This has absolutely nothing to do with the girl. If you weren't freaking out about her, it would be someone else. If not another girl you know now, it would be another girl you meet soon.

    I guarantee you that this girl has all kinds of flaws that you would find objectionable, and I'm sure she has a lot of good qualities as well. However, fantasizing about somone from afar tends to make one only think about the good qualities, .

    Stop the worshipping. No one is perfect, and no healthy relationship starts this way.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by winter32842 View Post
    I am kind of short, nerdy, greeky, and loser type of a guy.
    Ok... low self-esteem alert here. Not judging you, I'm the same. I think your attraction for this girl is magnified by you thinking so poorly of yourself, because then you think "oh, she's SO much better than me...", etc. etc.

    The ideal solution here would be to improve yourself, tracking down the things in you that make you think you're a loser and trying to work on them. Of course this only applies if they're actual flaws, otherwise you should try to accept them and be happy with who you are, blablabla psychologist talk. :p

    If you can succesfully improve your self-esteem, I think you'll either get this girl or be less miserable about not having her. Win-win.
    The key here is, how? I don't know, unfortunately I hate myself, lol. Sorry.
    Last edited by irrelevant_89; 27-12-09 at 01:40 AM.
    Time to stop complaining when there is no reason to. Life's good, man.

  7. #7
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    Nice advises, people.

    But I am not looking for love advise or how to get her.

    I just want to get rid of my feeling. I just want to lose my addiction to her. I just want to stop stalking her. I was a happy person before she came along and I want to be a happy person again. I just don't know how and why I developed so much feeling for her (a girl that I do not know much about). Please help me.

  8. #8
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    Bro, Creepy Much

    Lol.. You're Stalking Her Of Course She's Going To Keep Rejecting You

    Listen; If A Girl Really Has Feelings For You She Wouldn't Care If You're A Looser Or A Super Star.

    My Advice To You Is To Let Go =] If She Doesn't Want You, Fine. Find Someone Else ! There's Plenty Of Fish In The Sea

    Most Of All, Be Confident !! Don't Keep Thinking You Can't Get With Her Or Do This And That. You Should Be Thinking Something Like.. "I Can Do It, If She Doesn't Want Me.. Whatever She Has No Taste In Guys".

    Well, Good Luck =]

  9. #9
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    man you better step back, if she had CLEARLY showed her disinterest.

    This is America, just be aware anything you say or do can be against you once you step out of the proper zone. if you want quick fix, quick sex, post on CL Casual section..

    Harassing a woman who has no interest in you is well possible a legal matter if you dont refrain yourself.


    Quote Originally Posted by winter32842 View Post
    Please do not give me tips to get the girl but in general how can I reduce my feeling for her.

    Here is my story.

    I am kind of short, nerdy, greeky, and loser type of a guy. I love this girl in my class (my class contain 320 students). She is beyond beautiful in my eye, I love her personality and her characteristics and almost everything about her. She doesn't know me that good. I told her, I liked her via facebook but she rejected me. I still have an access to her facebook account since we both are in the same class.

    I am so addicted to her, I dream of her almost every night. This is first time in my life I ever felt this way. I look at her pictures like 15 times a day. When I look at her picture, I cry because I know I am not going to her. I always think about her; it is so bad that it is effecting my education and my life. I think, I am in depression because of her. I love her so much, I am willing to suffer and die for her. I am like a semi-stalker, I know everything about her, I keep doing research online about her. Even though we are still stranger, what hurt her, hurts me even more. For example, one of her close friend did not include her in her top 5 friends, this got me so angry and mad.

    Totally weird is the fact that I hate being her boyfriend/husband because I will be embarrassing her (because everyone view me as a loser, it is the reality). In other words, her friends will look down at her and will have pride that they have much better bf/husband than her.

    I think, I still have a chance because she doesn't know me well, she might give me a chance after knows me real good in real life. One thing about her is she very hard to get (I do not think she falls for guys easily and she not those flirting type girls).

    I try next semester to get her, as for now, please help me get rid of my feelings.
    Last edited by function; 27-12-09 at 02:47 PM.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by LADiiEKAY View Post
    Bro, Creepy Much

    Lol.. You're Stalking Her Of Course She's Going To Keep Rejecting You

    Listen; If A Girl Really Has Feelings For You She Wouldn't Care If You're A Looser Or A Super Star.

    My Advice To You Is To Let Go =] If She Doesn't Want You, Fine. Find Someone Else ! There's Plenty Of Fish In The Sea

    Most Of All, Be Confident !! Don't Keep Thinking You Can't Get With Her Or Do This And That. You Should Be Thinking Something Like.. "I Can Do It, If She Doesn't Want Me.. Whatever She Has No Taste In Guys".

    Well, Good Luck =]

    The only thing I do is look at her pictures on facebook constantly and do internet research to get to know her better. Therefore, she doesn't know I stalk her because facebook doesn't allow tracking system and thus if I visit her profile like million times, she will never know. This is NOT the point.

    The point is I can not let her go. I am not attracted to other women right now even if they are much hotter than her. I need advise letting her go (simple as that), I do not need love advise.


    Quote Originally Posted by function View Post
    man you better step back, if she had CLEARLY showed her disinterest.

    This is America, just be aware anything you say or do can be against you once you step out of the proper zone. if you want quick fix, quick sex, post on CL Casual section..

    Harassing a woman who has no interest in you is well possible a legal matter if you dont refrain yourself.
    The last thing I am is a physical stalker; I am not that kind of a person. The only thing I do is look at her pictures on facebook constantly (out of addiction) and and do internet research to get to know her better (unless stuff). I had whole semester with her, I do not think, I even saw her that much. lol, I never harassed her, the only thing, I did was private messaged her once and after that, I did not do or say anything to her. Next thing, I am going to do is probably tell her face to face or through friend in real life that I like her.


    You guys are missing my point. I have lot of things going for me right now in my life and I do not want to be pin-downed by love. I just want get rid of feeling for now.

  11. #11
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    I'd say find better things to do. Focus on work, hobbies, socializing, whatever, anything to take your mind off her. And stop going to her freaking facebook! The more you look at her the more the feeling grows. It will take willpower, but basically you need to remove everything that makes you think about her from your life. It's like drug rehab.. xD
    Time to stop complaining when there is no reason to. Life's good, man.

  12. #12
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    what do you mean by"try to get her next semester"???
    Are you going to make some more "Hi, I just pass by and bumping into you" type of thing, and like someone else did to me, wrote a strange letter afterwards saying "don't worry you still wont see me.(with smily face)"
    Or better yet, '" you need to be there tomorrow!"
    You are mentally incontinent, if its affecting others, you either need to turn in yourself voiluntarily or you need to run to the psych ward in the ER.
    And believe me, people DO take this type of thing seriously and will do everything to protect themself.
    IT IS OVER.


    Quote Originally Posted by winter32842 View Post
    The only thing I do is look at her pictures on facebook constantly and do internet research to get to know her better. Therefore, she doesn't know I stalk her because facebook doesn't allow tracking system and thus if I visit her profile like million times, she will never know. This is NOT the point.

    The point is I can not let her go. I am not attracted to other women right now even if they are much hotter than her. I need advise letting her go (simple as that), I do not need love advise.




    The last thing I am is a physical stalker; I am not that kind of a person. The only thing I do is look at her pictures on facebook constantly (out of addiction) and and do internet research to get to know her better (unless stuff). I had whole semester with her, I do not think, I even saw her that much. lol, I never harassed her, the only thing, I did was private messaged her once and after that, I did not do or say anything to her. Next thing, I am going to do is probably tell her face to face or through friend in real life that I like her.


    You guys are missing my point. I have lot of things going for me right now in my life and I do not want to be pin-downed by love. I just want get rid of feeling for now.

  13. #13
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    Folks, you're making it sound a lot more scary than it actually is. He's not actually stalking, he just grabbed hold of a couple pictures on facebook. Not a healthy behaviour, but not illegal or immoral either I think, and he has every right to give it a shot when the opportunity comes next semester.

    Winter, you're not hurting anyone but yourself, but that's enough for you to need to control these feelings.
    Time to stop complaining when there is no reason to. Life's good, man.

  14. #14
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    Repeatedly showing up on someone's path IS stalking.



    Quote Originally Posted by irrelevant_89 View Post
    Folks, you're making it sound a lot more scary than it actually is. He's not actually stalking, he just grabbed hold of a couple pictures on facebook. Not a healthy behaviour, but not illegal or immoral either I think, and he has every right to give it a shot when the opportunity comes next semester.

    Winter, you're not hurting anyone but yourself, but that's enough for you to need to control these feelings.

  15. #15
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    Read the OP. He didn't do that.
    Time to stop complaining when there is no reason to. Life's good, man.

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