I really need help, is it really over or does he need space.

[Chrissie]

Right my boyfriend has just dumped me. what happened is i exploded last week on him and its obviously shook him up. i know he spent alot of time picking out my present for xmas and went through so much effort wrapping it as his face showed he was really proud. now after the huge fight he hasnt spoken to me for 4 days, then last night he told me he missed me and loved me and wanted to talk tomorrow, all off his own back. this morning however his little girl was taken really sick, i got a text saying he couldnt meet me as off this, i replied along the line of i understand, dont worry if everythings okay with her your more than welcome to come round and we can talk like you wanted. i then got a reply saying i dont want this cant do this just want to be alone.

he has got tendencies to push me away when he's stressed especially if me and him are having a nark. its like he shuts down and cant deal with more than one thing at once. ive spent all weekend sending poems writing letters flowers candy, eveything ive done it, and he seemed the be fine last night, now this has happend with his little girl and boom i get dumped 4 days before xmas via text. im not sure to the degree how sick his little girl is but i do think its quite bad. should i give him space and hope for the best, just take that text as venting as he's worried for his girl, or am i wasting my time??? weve been together for 2 and half years and yes this year has been a tough one for us. after all that effort with xmas and what he sed last night, can it be over?

[girl68]

give him space, in a few days call him up and ask about the kid. then ask about him and if he'd like to grab a coffee?

[sweetkissesforu]

he is worried about his daughter men are not like woman multi-taskers one this at a time wait and call in a few days ask bout his daughter to show you care bout her then later talk bout ure relationship 2 1/2 yrs is not worth throwing away

[Regnent]

I know when I'm facing something emotionally challenging, I will shut down emotionally.
Some call it unable to handle emotions, I call it dealing with it. I don't have time to get depressed, or emotionally stressed. I'm required to goto work every day, and deal with whatever else is going on, and getting all emotional tends to simply get in the way.

I would say, don't send constant messages. If he's stressed, he really isn't going to appreciate any additional neediness (and that's how I would take poems, and letters and candy). A simple message or two a day, or even a voicemail saying you're there is he wants to talk or needs any help or support.

'Hey, hope everything is going well, I'm here if you want to talk'

When he's ready to reengage other emotional relationships, he will probably do so.
But the more you push, the less appealing you look as support. In my books anyways.

[Olenjka10]

It'll be fine, just don't panic. He sounds like he needs some time. And if he says he loves you, then he does and he'll be back. You don't usually say things like that left and right. Be patient and you'll be back on track. Good luck and merry xmas