I was so Immature

[basicsarcasm]

I Just had a break-up after 5 months of dating. He made it clear he was not ready for a serious relationship and wanted something more casual after about 2 months in. I chose not to hear him, I guess I was doing the "selective" hearing thing. I'd only had one real relationship before him which was committed and lasted for about 7 years. I just turned 25. I think I was being very young about the whole situation. I would often times get really drunk and text him awful things. I realize this break-up was a lot of my fault. It's a learning experience that has been very painful. I would apologize and he would forgive me.

Last Saturday he cancelled dinner on me because he had other things he needed to take care of. I got upset and told him it was over, he didn't make a big deal and seemed very okay with it. That hurt and I sent a bunch of mean texts hoping to get him to talk to me. It didn't work. I was so immature about the whole thing.

He came over yesterday to return some money I had let him borrow and told me that I had stressed him out and that I was like a ticking time bomb because I was always going to go off about something. I took everything calmly, but once he left I called and told him I was upset and thought we were fine and going to go back to casual. He then told me he felt no loving feelings for me and that he worries that he will never feel that way for someone again. I wasn't "Girlfriend Material," he said he was more chill, and I'm always winded up. I then told him I was upset last week and only said that stuff to get a reaction. He said things could go back to how they were before, but got off the phone really quick because he had met up with a friend at that point.

I called him later that day, and he answered but wasn't home and I made some excuse about some earrings I'd left. He ended the conversation saying he'd make sure I got them back.

I like the guy. I don't love him, but for some reason I've been taking this really hard. I definitely have feelings. I want to tell him I was new and hadn't really dated before, but I feel like it's too late. I chose to sit down and send an e-mail because that's something he could read and respond to when he felt ready to, if at all. I want to give him space and not hound or text him now that everything has FINALLY sunk in. I don't plan on persuing it pass that e-mail and realize some things can't be fixed. The rejection has got me and the huge misunderstanding. I miss hims as well.

Any feedback is welcomed.

[vashti]

Sometimes, we have to learn things the hard way. Men can only take so much of our bullshit.

[misombra]

yeah. leave him alone. when a guy says stuff like that, best to listen.

[cmacattack1]

Is saying mean things to get a reaction out of him and make him feel his decision was right better than leaving him be to think about things and give you the possibility of another shot? Break ups are tough, but they are a part of the relationship and there is a right way to go about things. How you handle it will say alot about your character. It's not the end of the world and you will be fine, don't make it a big deal out of somebody you don't even love.

Learning experience: check. Saying your sorry and showering them with lots of apologies = begging, not attractive. Going back and forth between sorry and angry things = nutcase.

[bloodtippedrose]

Im glad he was honest with you straight up that he wasnt in this for a long term relationship. I think youre taking it hard because youre longing for passion, love and long term commitments with someone and he wasnt what you wanted but was the closest thing you could get at the time. appreciate the time you get with guys, even if its just for fun. Not all guys are to be treated like boyfriends. Its going to hurt for a while, until someone else starts flirting with you probably, or you get used to your alone time. But if you are patient the right guy will most likely come along, and then you can train him

[strict machine]

I acted in a very similar way just after I ended my first serious relationship. It actually took me a couple months to realize how erratic my behavior was, and how justified he was to not want to put up with me anymore.

Don't beat yourself up over it. It would have been more painful if you'd done this with someone you loved. At this point the damage is done, but at least you gained something from this experience.

[briggers]

I think the email was a good idea hun. Now delete all his numbers email adress etc. Then he can only get in touch with you, but if he does i wouldn't reciprocate as it would probably only be about sex.

You deserve better and sound like you have alot to give someone who genuinly cares for you.

xxx