I will try to make this as short as possible, but I need some insight in this extremely rough period...
A little back story...
Jon is my boyfriend, Rory is my friend (dated for a short while when Jon left me and went back with his ex-wife for a short time, and I broke up with Rory and got back with Jon)
Jon has been deployed since December. On New Years Eve me and Rory, went out to a comedy show and a bar afterwards to celebrate New Years...this was a strictly friends event as he was working things out with his ex-wife and I am with Jon. I was supposed to be DD, had 3 drinks in 5 hours, but I forgot I had taken my prescription that intensifies the alcohol feeling and long story short, Rory drove, got a DUI...I felt terrible for not being responsible that night, and I saw how incredibly distraught he was when I picked him up from jail, and I also overheard conversations with his dad where he disowned him...(later they were ok, but it intensified the situation)...Because I felt guilty, I was helping him get to and from work since he couldn't drive, and I was hanging out with him more often because of that...again, we were only friends...over the course of the past 3 - 4 months, Rory was becoming more and more stressed to the point where he killed himself last week.
So, back to Jon at this point...since he is currently deployed in Iraq, I have been scared to death every day for his safety...I wanted him to be focused on the job he had to do out there and not have to think of anything that could potentially cloud his judgement, so, I didn't tell him about the who I hung out with on New Years, the DUI, or the fact that I was spending a lot of time with my deteriorating friend. I was going to tell him when he got back because I was hoping he and Rory could be friends, especially since I am friends with his ex-wife, and I was going to tell him because it was the right thing to do...well, somebody decided to email my boyfriend last week after Rory was found dead and tell him that I had been spending a lot of time with him...my boyfriend, hurt by something I was keeping from him (good intentioned or not), broke up with me on Saturday.
I am devestated...not only did I lose a friend I was trying like hell to help, I lost the man I am madly in love with because he thinks I was hiding the relationship for devious purposes...I love my boyfriend, and I would never cheat on him, especially knowing one of his exes did.
So did I do the right thing by sticking by my friend when he needed good people surrounding him...did I do the right thing trying to protect my boyfriend from thoughts that could cloud his judgement? I have gotten a lot of responses to this scenerio from friends and in some desperate moments, I spoke to a chaplain and an ordained minister and got their thoughts...I really need more opinions though, so I can hopefully settle my shattered mind down a bit.
Please feel free to say whatever you believe...I believe in fairness on all sides...I can take criticism and if I was wrong, I deserve to be told so. Feel free to make any other comments you see fit.
Thank you in advance for your thoughts.
Additional Details
I rarely drink at all, so I'm not an alcoholic...just in response to the first response...and I am active duty too, so I can't just start a new job...Also, I have written Jon about 5 - 7 pages telling him everything that me and Rory have done while he's been gone, and I went into detail explaining the ways I saw Rory deteriorating...if I think of anything else that may be pertenent, I will add them...thank you again for the comments...