Someone help me understand

[john4]

So this girl and I have known each other for about 8-9 years. I'm 20, btw. Anyways we have always talked to one another and acouple months ago we started hanging out all the time. We cuddle every time and kissed a few times, while we were "just friends." We started taking breaks because she didn't know what she wanted, but I knew what I wanted. The breaks would last like 3 days and then we'd be right back doing the same thing again. Recently though, she's told me she thinks we just need to be "best friends" and that she doesn't think it can be a relationship. Yet she stil wants to hang out like we did before and she still tells me she loves me. What am I missing here? We love the time we spend together and we make each other happy. Am I being strung along? How should I handle this, because I love being with her. We didn't hang out for a like a week and a half and it was miserable on both of us. Yet she just wants to be "best friends." I don't know how to handle the situation because I want to be with her, but its obvious she doesnt want a relationship. thhhanks

I posted this in the ask a woman forum too. But thought I'd could get male input too.

[Carol]

I would guess she is stringing you along and I also think it is impossible for you to be best friends right now because you just have too many emotions involved! I am not saying that you can't end up being friends again if that is where things end up but I really think that you need time to heal and get over the feelings! I know it is hard but I would just become really busy! At the times you normally hang out together make plans with other friends to do something else! She says she just wants to be friends so maybe even go on a few dates with some other people! The main thing you want to do is get this girl to find out what she is missing! STOP- with all the physical stuff- it just makes things harder and she shouldn't be doing that to you- sorry but friends don't kiss and cuddle!! She may be confused about her feelings and maybe have some other issues in her life but don't be overly available all the time and don't show her all of your feelings- I know how hard it is but take a step back and let her come to you! If she doesn't- you are really better off my friend! You are the guy and the one that is ultimately in control of the relationship- set your standard high and don't settle for less! You are a super good catch and you know it- women like a confident man so don't settle for a girl that doesn't treat you right- you deserve better!