I'm in a marriage of convenience. We got pregnant on a one night stand, and married with little to no love.
Sleep in separate bedrooms, no conversations, nothing, but pretend to be happy to family/friends/ etc.
One night while she watched tv on couch i surfed web and saw an ad for a girl offering to sell her undies to make extra money.
I'm a bit of a pervert and this sounded cool. We emailed. and got along really well. stayed up all night chatting and exchanging photos.
She worked at a neighborhood bar and invited me over the next day.
I went and we clicked.
I waited for her shift to end and we heavy petted and kissed in the parking lot.
no money or undies exchanged, that was forgotten we were just two people with a connection.
We started texting and talking multiple times a day major conversations about life, future, kids, etc.
She had a live in boyfriend who was also one of her bosses and got her, a great job. Something was missing she said. but she couldn't go
for me i stayed for my kid but as this relationship heated up i felt a need to come clean so I told my wife.
She was indifferent. Said she didn't care what i did as long as I continued to provide for her and our baby.
It confirmed what I always thought. she just wanted to be a stay at home mom, i gave her that. it's all that mattered.
Shared the convo with Natalie, (new girl) and she was so loving, supportive, told me she hated I was treated that way. I was awesome and deserved to be loved.
but she did say she was not willing to leave her guy. Still we talked about being together
kids, houses, said i made a great argument but she couldn't. but i could be her man on the side.
i somehow agreed hopeful i'd wear her down.
we finally had sex, and then talked about fantasies and fetishes, she had a laundry list of things she wanted me to do to her.
but we still only talked and texted all day with a few quick meetings in the car after she left work and before she got home to him
The the wife wanted to go out of town to visit relatives. It allowed me a chance to see Natalie. I talked to Natalie and she gave me her schedule of when she was off
I booked the tickets around it. last minute $1100 a piece for wife and kid.
Off day comes and i have a full day planned for us. well i get no text, no phone call. Then finally she tells me bf is still home but she'd reach out when he left.
The midday finally i get, he's gone but i'm out having drinks with a friend. I was livid what the hell. but ok. let her have her girl time. days' still young. Then I got texts telling me she's drunk and her friend he finds it sooo funny.
she's out drinking with a guy.
I was like well i'll come get you. she says no "he doesn't like sharing me"
wtf?
She's out with a guy she's sleeping with and telling me all this and i've switched schedules, and spent a fortune to send family away so we could have time together.
we had plans.
i told her she needed to come to my house, she kept sending me sad faces and "i'm sorry"
never heard from her the rest of the night, nor the next day.
then i finally text her.
she tells me one of her bosses died, i knew he had been sick, and she was hurt, and trying to keep staff morale high. but very short quick answers.
I told her I was very sorry, but then immediately said we needed to talk. she said ok she would call me tomorrow.
but she didn't never did
for days
then i texted her and asked if she was angry with me, she said no. it had just been crazy.
i told her i had a horrible week, and had a lot of pain and frustration and we needed to talk.
she said, she was sorry. and we would talk tomorrow....
well that's in a few hours from now.
I don't even know what to say if... and that's a big if. if she calls.
I want to go off on her. but in all honesty we're not dating, she can see who she wants.
but not keeping plans sucks.
and telling me she's ****ing another guy hurt my heart. i had no idea i had such strong feelings until she told me that
even my friends who know all about her were shocked and how hard i took it.
I want to recapture what we had, but i can't be walked all over either.
any advice? what should I say to her? How do I get her to feel just half of the pain i felt when she stood me up for this other guy.
Please give me your two cents.