"Be careful what you wish for."
I am pretty sure everyone has heard this statement before. And i am sure alot of you can match this very statement to one of your own personal experiences in life... Well, now i can add it to what is going on lately...
Remember me bitching and yelling and just going on and on about how no one wanted me, and i couldn't get a g/f ?? Yeah - I got really depressed. I missed all the attention I got from the opposite sex. I remember praying to God to let me have the attention back.
Well, after awhile of not getting the attention. I kinda gave up and started to move on with my life. Kinda gave up on everything, really.. Especially women.
I became independent. No longer needy of another to be around me. I had my friends and I was happy. Basically stated to enjoy the fact of being single.
Ok, so then POP ! - Ally comes into the picture. I met her online and we just kinda hit it off.. the weird thing was that I never meant for it to get as far as it has...
Then out of know where I am introduced to Elena thru my friend Nick. POP ! There is another one. Elena is hispanic, but perfect. 5'3", 115 pounds, B cup (at least that how they look), etc etc...
And remember my high school sweetheart that came back at the beggining of the summer, Andira ? Well, she decided she is gonna stay here and drop out of college in Florida... I freaked out !! She says she wants to stay here because all her friends are here... but I dont think that is the case. She is married, and I like her alot, and I know she likes me alot. But she is married !! well, engaged, but its all the same in my eyes..
Ok, so Andira is not really into the whole thing as much as the others, but she is there.. Ally and Elena are jealous as all ****ing hell of each other... I will be hanging out with Elena and Ally will call me and Elena freaks out and is all like "just hang up the damn phone" and stuff...
And when I am not around Elena and on the phone with Ally, she keeps callin Elena my g/f... So I know they are jealous just by the way they are acting..
But back to me - here I am stuck in the middle of two girls fighting each other basically.. And Andira just ****ing ruined her college just to stay here... I feel like I am just overwhelmed by it all and I want everyone to just disappear ! I like all the of these girls, and two of them I am really considering dating in the future... But sometimes I just feel I cant handle all of this anymore. I'm too old. I lost my mojo.
This isn't me anymore. I am not one to fight over. I am not one to recieve attention and 'eat it up'. I dont like this at all one bit. And I look up to God and remember my prayer. I asked for this. And I have recieved.
I guess this is just another lesson learned. Live and Learn.