recurring dream **Long Post**

[boyscout]

Hi all, I have keep having this dream about kissing this girl..... About two years ago I got really close with a friend of mine I play sports with. She had only a crush, though she said it was more, and I kind of liked her too. Well we talked, texted, and emailed each other all day and all night. At the time she had a boyfriend so I would never get physical/ "affectionate." Things progressed the following summer and people began to think there was something romantic between us, but at the time we were just really really good friends.

The problem with our relationship is I am 7 years older than she is and I know she and her friends have a problem with that. I didn't like getting involved with her at first but after thinking about it I realized what is age really, it just a number. Another problem is our families are really close, and her parents didn't like that fact she liked me and told her all the time it could never work.

So as things went I began to fall for her and she grew to like me. Then last summer she began to change. She stopped talking to me, would ignore me anytime I'd text to say hi, and even stopped playing with me at practices. She acted as if she was moving on and had wanted nothing more to do with me. Which hurt but I accepted it. It was just odd because whenever she needed something she always used the fact I loved her to get what she wanted, then she's disappear again. Through her not so subtle and subtle hints I know she doesn't want anything to do with me more than being just friends/teammates.

Now back to the dreams... A year ago the dream went I would walk up to her and say something about how she always wanted something and i never gave it to her and then would kiss her (because i knew she wanted me to kiss her but i wouldn't because of the boyfriend). She wouldn't flinch or anything and just stare tight past me then I'd wake up. Now the dream, which I have almost on a weekly basis for over a year, has changed to her coming to me and kissing me, rather intensely, then I wake up.

I know the dream is stemming from my love for her and my inability to move one. Even a friend of mine told me this summer the reason I wouldn't get with her was because of this girl, which among other things is fairly true. Every girl I meet I compare to her. I know I’m still crazy over her and I’d give nothing more to be with her but I know it will never be. I’m able to move on but as soon as I have the dream again I can’t help but think about her and us again. I want to tell her everything but I’ve spent the last year avoiding her as best I can.

What can I do to stop these dreams??

[Bokonon]

Ouch, that sounds like a rough situation to deal with. I don't think you can stop your dreams from happening. All you can change is what you do when you wake up. Try not to place so much importance on the dreams. Remind yourself that this is something you probably do want deep down, but it's impossible and you need to move on and keep your eyes open to all the women around you rather than looking inward to your memories and thoughts of this girl.

[carl1222]

I'm on the edge on this.

7 years is a big but not impossible difference. The convenional wisdom rule for women is 10 up, 5 down.

How old are you both?

Carl.

[boyscout]

I'm 27 and she's 20