Stop walking on egg shells. She is allowed to be stressed out over your deployment, but she needs to handle it better. Rather than skate around the issue, why don't you just address it head-on? Tell her you know she is upset about your deployment, and she is right to be upset, but she is wasting the little time you have left being mean to you, and you don't want to go away with this ugliness between you.
Relax... I'll need some information first. Just the basic facts - can you show me where it hurts?