The Need to Impress

[Rowen]

Okay, so I thought about this topic on my drive to my high school classes in the morning. I usually listen to a morning radio show that reports bizarre (yet true) local news stories and comments on them. Today, this was their top story:

A man in his thirties in the valley was on a date with a woman. Apparently, as this was accounted by the date and later the man during police confession, he wanted to impress his date, so he deliberately ran his car into another, causing an accident. The driver of the other car, a man in his forties, got out to exchange insurance, and the man in his thirties attacked him, trying to beat him up. Again, this was to impress his date... When the man in his thirties realized the man in the other car knew how to fight and that he was losing, he climbed back into his car and drove off with his date. The police caught up to him a few miles away, and he's being charged with aggravated assault, reckless driving, and fleeing the scene of an accident.

This story got me thinking about how there are people in the world who feel the need to impress others, mostly not to this degree, though. So, on a subject related to that story, why do certain people in this world (not all) feel the need to impress people? Would you say that it's natural for there to be a certain amount of desire to impress on a date (not to the extent of the arrested guy)? Why?

I'm just curious about everyone's thoughts. lol

[Love'sReject]

The need to impress others probably has some Darwinian origin to partially account for it. It's partially the result of evolution, somewhat attributable to social conditioning, and ALL ego.

[HeartIsAching]

Probably not Darwinian, LR... but societal. Our society has blurred the line (and good job, too) between males and females. Gotta remember that at certain basic levels, we're not the same.

Taking my ex out on my motorcycle for example, I (still young) took a long time to realize that the way to make it enjoyable for her was not to scare the crap out of her... but to ride sedately.

In certain ways, guys are wired differently than girls. I FREAKING LOVE(d) the adrenalin rush when I'm weaving through traffic at 130+MPH... made me feel great, made her feel scared. Nowadays I'm a sedate driver/rider, as my hormonal output has decreased, and my awareness of my own mortality has increased. I still love railing a corner just right, though. I just pick my venue more carefully than I used to.

[Love'sReject]

I think it has Darwinian roots because of intersexual selection: females would want to mate with the males that assert themselves. Semantically, that is "impress(ing)." Those that failed to do had lowered reproductive rates.

[HeartIsAching]

I get what you're saying, but that would tend to support the opposite hypothesis. Most women wouldn't be impressed by that, and the male with them would not get to breed with that female.

There is a fine line there, though. My wife likes knowing that I'm trained in personal combat, that I'm somewhat abrasive and confrontational in nature, and that my past is *ahem* less than spotless... and further knowing that there's no way in hell that I'd ever hurt her. She feels safe around me (her words), because I'm not a pushover. She knows that if anybody hurt her, I'd hunt them to the ends of the earth and then do disturbingly sick things to them. Gleefully.

Which is why I say it's societal. Our society has blurred the lines, and for some less evolved males, it's more difficult to see that their actions won't get them what they want. Does this mean you have to be a wimp to get women? Hell no. That works for some guys... but I believe that most straight women want someone that they *know* isn't a wimp (hence the bad-boy appeal) but is a total pushover where they're concerned. Societies change faster than people do. It was only a generation ago that blacks and whites were not allowed to marry in this country, and now it's not even unusual. Now we're fighting for the rights of homosexuals to marry. I share Dr. Martin Luther King's dream.

[HeartIsAching]

Know what? I'm removing you from my ignore list. You've evolved.

[Love'sReject]

It's been observed in various animals and insects, though...

[HeartIsAching]

Sure. Animals have different levels of mentation. Insects have almost no mentation. Their societies don't change. Bees will still be bees a million years from now... unless some other insect has successfully replaced their niche in the biosphere.

[Love'sReject]

It's probably more societal now but the reason I speculated a Darwinian origin was the stuff in anthropology I've been reading for my course. Non-human primates demonstrate what I posited in abundance.

[HeartIsAching]

Sure they do. Non-human primates are very similar to us in a lot of ways... some more than others. Chimpanzees, Bonobos and Gorillas in particular.

[fearoflove]

So, the guy is trying to show off how stupid he is?

[Love'sReject]

A misguided attempt to impress..the stupidity was incidental.

[Rowen]

So, the guy is trying to show off how stupid he is?

lol That would be what I'd normally think. I guess he was just trying to show off that he's some manly guy...in some sort of twisted, psychotic way. I'd seriously like to hear the stories from his ex's if he has any.


As for the general debate going on here, I would say that it's a mixture of Darwinian and societal. Think about how different times are from the 1600's. We've come a long way, haven't we, as far as our societal values? And back then, it was customary that the dominate male get the gal, was it not? To me, that view back then was a reflection of, as LR pointed out, nature.

Take wild horses for example. Hollywood paints them as the majestic beings which just run across the great plains. In real life, they're vicious to one another, and males will fight to the death over being the dominate male- the head of the pack. It works the same with gorillas and lions, among other animals. I believe this natural instinct was also in us in past generations. Except, it's evolved with the changes of societal views. If you think about it, it's really unfair anymore to say that the gruff guy with the six pack is going to have his pick of any woman he chooses while the one who delves into books will die alone. Everyone has their different tastes. Typical gender traits, as HIA suggested, have become blurred. We've evolved.
Sure, there are those who feel the need to impress, but isn't it, in this case, psychological factors drawing out the pre-existing trait from Darwinian ego?

That's just my thoughts on it. I'm curious to see where this conversation will go. xD

[Love'sReject]

Yeah, like HIA and myself have said before, the naturalistic view doesn't suffice enough to explain modern mating trends which of course are directly related to the attempt to impress chicks. Humans maintain some links genetically and somewhat instinctively to ancestors but there is a lot more variety in humans owing to being psychologically and sociologically more complex than other animals. The bottom line is, humans are still animals so I imagine there's the biological explanation for needing to impress women (the release of chemicals from the pleasure of sex). There's also psychological influence, i.e. sluts men or women filling some void through sex.

[HeartIsAching]

One major fallacy I see here - and not just here, but replicated everywhere, is to separate ourselves from nature.

We're not apart from nature, we're A PART of nature. We may foment the next mass extinction event... but whether we're a massive meteoroid impacting the biosphere or a rapacious, murderous over-intelligent primate, the outcome makes no never mind.

Should we display the intellect and planning to overcome our drive to be the most stupendous badasses (some will get the reference) on the globe, we may survive. If we don't survive, the biosphere will eventually recover... and perhaps someday some other species will succeed in our place.

I for one, will not judge - but I will do my best to effect change. I like our species, though I am admittedly biased.