Is this what "settling" means?

[Indestructible]

I've been doing a lot of thinking and evaluating over the last few months about my future "romantic" prospects. When I was in my late teens, I always envisioned myself falling in love, getting married, and so on, and that was a happy thought. But, for the last few years, as I've gotten into my 20s, I had convinced myself that I was "doomed" to be alone because I could never find a girl I really felt strongly about, and wanted to be more than friends with. It was a sad, depressing realization, but I basically made peace with it. Then, a few months ago, I fell pretty hard for a girl I know, and we seemed so good for each other that I almost couldn't believe it. I let myself throw out all those "forever alone" thoughts, and asked her out, and she turned me down.

I'm still dealing with lots of lingering feelings and thoughts for that girl, mostly because I still know her and see her fairly regularly. But I'm starting to sink back into my "doomed to single life" mindset. Or rather, I'm starting to see another possible "future" that I'm not really sure how I feel about. See, I don't believe there's very many girls out there that I could actually "feel strongly" about, and even if I manage to find them, as with this last girl, there's no guarantee they'll want to be with me.

However, I do feel like there are girls out there that may date me, but I wouldn't feel very strongly about them, or very "connected". In fact, thinking back, I believe in high school, there was a girl that probably would've dated me. Had we dated, it probably would've been a nice, easy little "relationship", but I never felt "strongly" about her, because we weren't really that compatible, and I feel like I would've been kind of... bored, with her. I still would've tried to be the best "boyfriend" as I possibly could, for her sake, but I think I, myself, probably would've been more "content" than "happy" with her. Does that make sense?

Anyway, that got me to thinking... Is that what "settling" is? A lot of people end up "settling", correct? Perhaps it's not completely realistic for me to believe I'll find and get together with a girl I feel "strongly" about? Maybe it's more realistic and natural to find someone to just be "content" with?

I mean, I guess that would be better than having no one at all, but I dunno... That paints sort of a dreary image of a long term relationship, to me. On the other hand, I feel like finding someone I feel "strongly" for is more akin to playing the lottery; plenty of people play, but most never "win big". Maybe that's how dating/ relationships work, though? I don't really know.

[ttylox]

Quit feeling sorry for yourself and moping around with all this "there aren't many girls out there..." or "I wouldn't feel interested..." - are you a gypsy fortune teller? No? Ok I didn't think so - and I think you're a little early in the game to be calling it quits already.

Just settle down! Quit worrying about love and foreverness and playing the lotto. Go out and make something of yourself... be a good, interesting person. Go to the gym, make some friends, find a godamned hobby. Go on dates! Lots of them - hundreds. Learn about women, what they like about you and what you like in women... you might surprise yourself.

[iamaninnocentma]

Learn about women, lol

Day 1, they are all mental

Day 2, repeat day 1

[ttylox]

Learn about women, lol

Day 1, they are all mental

Day 2, repeat day 1

Yeah, but we're all crazy in different ways. Some of us are "kill you in your sleep; cut off your shlong" crazy and some of us are "manipulate you til you cut off your own shlong" crazy. You gotta learn the difference.

[iamaninnocentma]

The only difference is what time of the month it is, although some birds do hide their craziness better than others.

[bcgirl]

Relax. Take a deep breath in and sigh it out. U are barely in your 20's, u literally have your whole life ahead of you. Part of life is getting rejected by the pretty girl u wanna date. Getting your heart broken by the girl u love...shit like that. That whole fairy tale romance in your head has got to leave, you've watched too many Hollywood romantic comedies and Disney in your childhood. Reality is that more than half of marriages end in divorce, and another half of those that don't are unhappily married. When u r 40 and still utterly alone, then u can panic, for now don't stress too much. U r young and this may seem like the end of the world now, but it really isn't. Many ppl in crappy relationships would wish they were in your shoes

[bcgirl]

I had a friend in high school that was considered nerdy. He liked the pretty girls but got rejected, he didn't date anyone until after high school. He ended up creating something huge and made millions, those girls that rejected him once now wanted him and he was doing the rejecting..what a bitter sweet feeling. He is now a billionaire with a drop dead gorgeous European model by his side. You never know with life. Stay in school and do good in your studies

[Boisdevie]

He is now a billionaire with a drop dead gorgeous European model by his side.

Yep, bet she's letting him shag her because he's filthy rich. Bit like prostitution then.

[bcgirl]

Not really. he is too busy to think about marriage at this point. The model actually is super obsessed with him and even tattoed his name on herself. He is enjoying his yachts, his travels, his beautiful girls that he has missed out in when he was younger. He's enjoying his fame and fortune. When he is ready to settle down, I'm sure it would be different. But at this stage, he calls the shots and those beautiful girls are lining up, he takes his pick for the evening and breaking hearts