Feelings for Best Friend?

**db781170** · 01-06-12, 08:22 AM

Hello,

So my friend and I have been best friends for about a year and a half now. We met when I moved in with him and our other roommates at the time. At first, I had a slight crush on him (I'm gay, by the way), but he made it very clear that he was straight and so I moved on and we became inseparable. Then, he moved to L.A., which is where has been for about a year now. I miss him, of course, but we do a great job of keeping in contact. Over the time he's been in L.A., he has slowly but surely begun to come out of the closet as bisexual to me, now telling me about guys he's been with. I get a little twinge of jealousy when I hear, but nothing too big. Most of all, I'm happy for him.

In the meantime, I've been in NYC and have found a boyfriend that I've been with for almost eight months, whom I love and could see myself spending the rest of my life with. We have a great relationship, and have never had any problems with infidelity or anything like that.

Last week, my best friend came into town, making it over a year, since I've seen him. It was like old times, except we got drunk one night and kissed. It wasn't weird the next day or anything, and I really didn't know how to feel about it. Then a couple of nights later he went home with another guy and I lost it at the bar when he told me. I got extremely upset, especially since he was choosing to go home with someone random rather than spend time with his best friend. We ended up talking and he made it clear that the kiss meant nothing to him and that he and I would never happen. He then went back to L.A., and we've been talking, but a little less than normal.

I felt EXTREMELY guilty for the kiss and told my boyfriend, who is great and understanding, and said it was fine as long as it didn't mean anything and that we would work through it. I really want to be with him, and I know that my friend and I would never work, so does anyone have any advice on how to move past this and shake whatever feelings may be there, so I can truly focus on my currently amazing relationship? Thanks! Sorry for being so long-winded!

**smackie9** · 01-06-12, 09:11 AM

It's normal to feel great desire for someone we know we can't have. The desire will dissolve over time as you go on with your life and discover things that are more precious to you. Also as we get older what we think was appealing is no long that anymore. You do change, goals change, your view on life changes, and your priorities. Years down the road you will look back and not feel a thing....just fond memories of another time.