Not even sure what I'm asking, but these feelings are driving me nuts...

[NotTheGuy]

Girl I work with is a lot younger than me (she's in her early 20's, I'm in my early 40's).
Although we have a lot of the same interests and such, differences (mostly due to the age thing) would make it pretty much impossible for anything to work out between us if we dated.
So I don't want to date her, and I don't want to sleep with her (mostly because that would probably lead to increasing my feelings for her). Dating her or sleeping with her could only end badly, so I don't even consider it. I can honestly say I'd say 'no' if she asked me out (other than as friends). There is a bit of lust going on, but I'm a single guy, I have a bit of lust for any remotely cute girl.

On the other hand, she is pretty awesome. Pretty/cute/sexy, MENSA level brain, funny, fun, sweet, kind, loving, great cook who loves doing it, great singer, classier than many girls her age without being snobby at all, full of life.

I end up feeling painfully envious of the guys she dates. I envy them for being the right age to click well with her, and it saddens me that I can't seem to find anyone THAT awesome in my own age range.

Group of us were out last night and it ended with her heading for what I'm guessing was a first night of crazy nookie with a guy she's liked for quite awhile.

Bugged the crap out of me all night. I could barely sleep.

Thoughts?

[MaidenMinx]

My hubby's parents had a 20 yr age gap...

[NotTheGuy]

Some people can make that work.
In the case of this girl, she has some young 20's close-mindedness and naive attitudes about the world that I wouldn't be able to deal with in a relationship. I never want to feel like I have to talk down to a gf.
And she's a total Energizer bunny. She's very hyper. I'm mellow. She'd be completely bored with me in a couple of weeks.

[rafterman]

Dude, I reckon If she was single and she asked you out, you would say yes.
I'm calling you out on this one.

[rafterman]

Some people can make that work.
In the case of this girl, she has some young 20's close-mindedness and naive attitudes about the world that I wouldn't be able to deal with in a relationship.

O.k I see what your saying, I've dated younger girls and can be frustrating because you have "dumb" things down for them. I like women that know how the World works.

[kinks]

me and my bf have 11 years in between us and things are fine, age is only an issue if you let it be.

[NotTheGuy]

After some very extensive questions from my friends, I FINALLY figured out what I was feeling towards her...
You know how sometimes you'll find out about some fantastic opportunity, but for whatever reason, you can't take advantage of it? It can make you sad, mad, and even jealous of the people who CAN take advantage of it.
THAT is what she is. She is, in my opinion, much greater than 99% of the women I've met. And even though I'm not madly lusting or crushing on her, I recognize that she'd be an awesome catch for the right guy. I am not the right guy, but I'm really jealous of whoever is.

[MaidenMinx]

naaaawwww! that's quite adorable.