Spending the day with her almost ex

[blueeyedgolfer]

I am moving 410 miles to be with my girlfriend in the next two weeks. We have been seeing each other for over a year and a half. we were both married, my divorce is final and hers is very far from it.

Thats the back ground. Here is my issue. her ex father in law who she did not see very often passed away the other day. And now she is going to all the calling hours and the funeral and the wake after. She says she wont be by her not her ex yet, but the whole city will know she is there and why is she with him.

I know when I moved out of my house and got divorced that I was losing my inlaws, my dogs and our shared friends.

Why cant my girlfriend realize that.

Am I wrong?

[Bumble_bee]

you have a trust issue going on here, she is paying her respects, because perhaps despite her marrigae failing she still loves and cares for her extended soon to be ex family ya.....

[blueeyedgolfer]

I guess I should have added that she had not seen him for over one year. That she called his whole family as being very dysfunctional. He did not go to her kids graduations, sporting events or milestones.

[Bumble_bee]

you didn't say she had kids with him? (are they his?)... is she is going to her kids' grandfathers funeral?......

do you really want to ask her whether she is trying to use this sad time to rekindle something with the ex?

.....if she has kids with the ex (or even if he was the father figure in their lives/whole lives)....they will always be in contact, even if its her who makes the effort and not him.


sit this out, I'm sorry but I think this is paranoia.... but I really dnt see why you would feel insecure about her going to pay her respects to the family...ex or not.

[misombra]

does she have kids with him? she was probably close to the family. here's a secret: ALL families are dysfunctional. that was once her family and she has a right to go to the funeral. it doesn't mean she's trying to reconcile.

[chump4u]

Just maybe, going to this funeral is her way of saying goodbye to the father-in-law, and the family, and her ex all at the same time. Instead of being a bad thing for you and her, it could be the best thing she could do.