Boyfriend hasn't said "I love you"... does he love me?

[change77]

We've been together for a year and he has only said he "really likes me". He's a shy guy and typically doesn't express his emotions well, however, I know he has told at least one ex that he loved her, so I feel inadequate when all I'm hearing from him is "I like you." So last time he said that, I jokingly said "no you don't" and he said "maybe it's more than that..." then the subject of our conversation changed (ugh!). Recently he told me he cares about me more than he has ever cared about a girl and he's worried about me leaving him because he thinks I can do better. I reassured him that he is all I want and I'm not going anywhere. So now he seems to be gradually opening up about how he feels. This weekend he cuddled up with me and started telling me all of these things he's never said before, telling me his life revolves around me, he thinks about me constantly and I'm in most of his dreams... "you're the most beautiful person I know", "I don't know what I'd do if you ever left me," "I've spent most of my life in these long bouts of depression... and now that I have you I can't be unhappy, just thinking about you and knowing that you're somewhere thinking about me." He told me how important it is to him that I am comfortable and happy in every way. He even told me if I stay the way I am, he'll never have to look for a girlfriend ever again.

I think he might be in love with me, but I don't know if I'm reading this all wrong. Do you think he is? And if he is, why can't he say it?

[devonbrown]

He seems to be saying it without using the actual words. Why don't you ask him if he loves you if it is so important to you?

Also, he says that he will never have to look for a girlfriend again if you stay the way you are? That sounds weird to me... At best, it sounds like he is a bit immature and doesn't understand that people grow and change through everything that happens in their life. At worst, it sounds like he is a bit controlling and is only interested in having a "type" for a girlfriend and not a real person.

Good luck.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Some how work it into conversation, that you "hope to find a man that truly loves you". You could also initiate a break up and see if he says he loves you then. Or you could stop being a pussy and say it first. Or you could just wait until he's ready.

[change77]

That is a downright pathetic, manipulative and ridiculous suggestion.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

So, you're just going to completely disregard the two suggestions that weren't pathetic, manipulative, and ridiculous?

Basically all I was saying in that post is, make a move, or stfu and quit whining.

[deepika_16]

You ask him whether he loves you or not and even if he says that he likes you then ask him why can't he say that he loves you. Ask him this before its too late. Otherwise later on he can just say that he only likes as a friend. Tell him to be very clear about his feelings because it is about your life. I agree with what devonbrown said that it is weird saying that if you stay the way you are then he would not look to any other girl. A person changes with time, situation, circumstances and his/her thoughts changes as he grows. Even he can't guarantee that he will stay the same forever. Think what you want to do?

[change77]

"He even told me if I stay the way I am, he'll never have to look for a girlfriend ever again."

What he meant by that is if our relationship stays the way it is - the way we interact, the way I act towards him, etc.

I don't want to ask him outright and put him on the spot. I am not asking for any sort of factual responses here, since I know that none of you are him and are unable to provide that. I am simply asking for opinions, as I do not have a lot of experience with serious relationships and how guys act in them.

[theonehitwonder]

he loves you, this is exactly how i feel about my gf

[IndiReloaded]

Tell him you are feeling insecure about how he feels about you. Don't use the L word directly. Unless he's a total idiot, he'll get the hint to step up (or not).

[HeartIsAching]

I'd say he doesn't. It sounds to me as if he's comfortable, probably contented and mostly satisfied, but not really in love. If he's said it before to somebody else and not you... he doesn't love you. I think his description is what it is - he likes you.

[hello1]

It is strange but to be honest if he was in love with you, he would just say it. Maybe he getting to that point now...but come on its been a year...its bit sad really he hasn't told you.

[FudgeSociety]

You can't rush these things. Love is a very powerful emotion, if you go around just throwing it at every relationship you have, it turns meaningless. Granted it has been a year, but maybe he feels that love is that one step that he isn't willing to take just yet.