Is there something wrong with me?

[Hansel23]

I'm sure most of you probably have something better to do than read my pathetic life story on here so I understand if I don't get many replies. However, any responses would be hugely appreciated and would really help me sort out the mess I feel I am in at the moment.

I'm 19, almost 20, British Indian (my parents are from India but I was born and brought up in London), and I have never had a girlfriend. Since I was about four or five I was always at least somewhat interested in the opposite sex - something that my friends at such a young age couldn't understand.

Today, I'm at an Arts university in London, currently staying at student halls (rented accommodation - I think Americans call it 'dorms' or something) and every day and night I feel quite alone. I mean, I have a lot of friends, some of which are girls, but none of which have probably even thought of me as being boyfriend material.

I don't really know how to flirt. I've only kissed 3 girls (one of which was very desperate and drunk, the other two were drunk as well - I was drunk too, I wasn't taking advantage or anything sinister like that).

Embarrassingly, I don't even know if I've ever had sex before. Without getting graphic, I once was with a girl and in her bed but I was hesitant about having sex because she was a girlfriend of a friend. I know, I sound like a horrible c*nt, don't I? I was just so terribly desperate and upset at my life that I was willing to do anything. However she was on top of me and I couldn't actually feel whether I was 'inside her' or not. So I may or not be a virgin and I guess I'll never know.

I also feel at times like I am in love with a gorgeous, sweet good friend of mine in my halls. However she has a complicated past and is not interested in me... as far as I know. I don't know whether to ask her or not as it could possibly ruin our friendship and my friendship with the people I met through her.

I don't think I'm particularly unattractive. Many people from both sexes have told me that I am good looking but I never seem to find any girl single and my age who agrees. I think that I may high standards, too high for myself, but I can't control the way I think.

I don't know how to speak seductively or flirtatiously with a girl or how to start conversations easily with strangers. I feel that if I don't do something about this now then I'm going to be alone forever.

Sorry about this ridiculously long post, I do hope someone has read this.

Thank you so much, your response would mean the world to me.

[vashti]

Hey! Chin up - you are at university! There should be lots of available girls for you.

The thing you need to do is to put yourself in a position where the girls will want/need you. The best place for this is at a dance class.... ballroom, latin, whatever! There is always a shortage of males, and you will always be in demand (unless you are dangerous on the dance floor).

Too bad about the virginity thing... I don't know how it's possible to not feel anything, so my guess is that you didn't do it, but I'm not male so I don't know for sure.