Whats transparency in a relationship?

[colinico]

What do you consider to be transparency with your partner? although it only has one meaning people do it differently.
Do you do it that way in your relationship(s)?

[colinico]

do you tell that you found attractive that man? that you maybe desire him consciously or unconscious? that your stare landed on his pants? that a guy approached you and even thought you blew him off it was hard beacuse he was attractive? but even thought your animal instict finded him atractive you decided to reapect your partner and tell it to him. If you have been transparent, how do you think it has helped you?

[qtpie568]

Certain things are better left unsaid. Not because it's right to keep a secret, but because it's hard to repair the damage that comes with being too honest.
I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years. I would never tell him if I found another man attractive, because I don't want him to feel like there's a threat where there is none. I love him and only him and I will be with him and only him. It's not hard for me to turn down someone if they hit on me, it's just instinct.
However, if someone does hit on me or I feel like they are, I come flat out and tell him. He has a right to know.
I tell him when I'm angry, sad, happy, lonely, or anything else that I'm feeling. He does the same with me. It lets us both know exactly what's going on so that there's no misunderstandings. It used to be we didn't share things that way, and it caused arguments because we were closed off.

[colinico]

best responses since posted. thanks.True, but maybe it is less of a threat if one says those little things too, cause your only saying that your human. In the other cause we are just ignoring it. I mean, if i know by nature that my partner will find someone attractive from time to time i would prefer knowing than not knowing. It would make me uncomfortable at first but its something that is there, might as well finish saying it and make the bond stronger.
I bet if i or someone that doesnt say this things to their partner asked them if they would like to know that, they may say no or yes, but even that person who says no would still stay with the curiosity of knowing and will probably finish asking their partner if that has happened to them.

[colinico]

lets say that your partner was the one that wrote your message above, and you happened to read the message
".......I would never tell her if I found another women attractive..." would it make you feel bad, a little discouraged or uncomfortable?