I could go on and write about this for pages and ages but this isn't my diary so I'll just get to the point. This all happened yesterday.
My little sister, Abby, was staying with me and my boyfriend of 3 years in our apartment. We were all up pretty early and the food was pretty low so I told him (we'll call him Nick) I was going to get some food. He was on the phone. I wasn't really paying attention but I think it was his brother on the other line. Abby was rolling on the floor with our dog Tolby, watching TV. He nodded and I got my stuff and headed out. I went and did what I said I was gonna do. I stopped to talk to one person for a while but that was really it.
I come back and Nick is acting really jumpy and guilty. He told me Abby was sleeping but he kept trying to distract me from checking on her by volunteering to do it himself. Luckily he's a bad liar and I knew something was up. He was shaking and his head wasn't all there. Every possible ****up ran through my head while I tried to figure out why he was acting weird but like an hour later he finally admits something happened to Abby. I go in the back and she's in the bed. She looks like she's sleeping but when I move her there's blood on the pillow. My ****ing head goes off and I ask him what the **** happened. According to him he just wasn't paying attention. He let her out on the patio--we live on the 4th floor--and didn't know she was playing on the railing (even though he knows she likes to try to sit and play on them). He said maybe she was sitting or trying to walk along the rail and fell off.
We took her to the hospital in his truck. We told them it was an accident and that she fell from the 4th floor of a building and relevant info, whatever they asked.
I couldn't stay there. I know I wasn't even there but I feel like this is partially my fault and terrible that I can't stay. I know it was an accident but I'm pissed with him. I don't know what's going to happen to Abby or to us. If she's seriously hurt which I think she is will they charge us with anything? And I'm really just trying to hope for the best for her because it's all I can do. I don't know any medical details. I just hid in the bathroom, they talked mainly to Nick. But I know they'll have to operate because her skull was damaged. Cracked or fractured or something. Now how am I going to tell my mom what happened? She let Abby stay with us for a few weeks while she rehabilitates her leg from a prior injury. I don't know if the hospital has already contacted her but inside I'm hoping they have so I won't have to explain when Nick and I call her.
But yeah, I'm pissed at Nick right now. I want to maul him. But I know it was an accident. It could just be my anger talking.This has made me seriously question whether or not I want to have a baby with him anymore. What kind of parents would we be? I just want to know if you were in this situation--would you stay and work this out or would you leave your boyfriend of 3 years and friend for longer? If she dies or has bad brain damage or anything serious I don't know that I could look at him anymore or myself in the mirror or my mother in the eye.
By the way Abby is only 6 years old.