The Athiest and the Christian (my story)

[OpticalIllusion]

Religious differences in relationships...
some say, they make the relationship doomed to failure. Other's say that it makes no difference. I'm not quite so sure where I stand anymore. Here is my story.

My girlfriend of 5 months is a Christian. I am an Athiest. When I first entered the relationship it was no deterent fro me. "What difference can the belief in God really make in a relationship?" I would ask myself. We have come to the point in our time together where a serious long term relationship is in the making. However, how can two people who don't share the same values on such a HUGE subject, spend their lives together? Doesn't it make some difference?

We've discussed this to great extent. We have come to a standstill because of it. On the one hand, we both agree that is not a problem at all. We love each other right? Isn't that enough? On the other hand, we wonder things like: If we do create lives together, how would the family function religiously? Or does a Christian being with an Athiest violate some religioius law that we are unaware of? (if you plan to answer that, you'd better have a bible verse picked out, cause I won't go down without a fight)

I would like your opinions. In what ways would a difference such as this, effect our long term relationship? Do you think it's wrong/okay for people of these contradicting religious views to be together?

And finally the big one.

Do you believe that our religious difference will ultimately doom our relationship in the future?

[Only-virgins]

With all jokes put a side I think the relationship will work. As long as both people are willing to do some sacraficing at some point or another. I am an atheist and I still go to church for friends weddings and when my older parents ask me to accompany them to church on some big day or what not I still go. To me it matters not since I do not have an opposing god that would care lol. If the relationship doesn't work then put another thing down on the list of " Religion is stupid a fawked this shit up".

[Ratfish256]

I am an athiest too, but I will not force my children to be. I figure that I will try to stay neutral on religion until they are old enough to pick one for them selves. Anyway I can't see myself ending up with anyone too religious... it gives me the willies.

[xplodinjohnno]

Just to start off i'm a catholic my self, Yes i do go to church, and no i dont go every sunday! I dont practice it that much only every now and then. I've been in this situations many of times and the worst one of all would have been the muslium r/s. Boy was this a hard one. For a while it was hard to figure out wat was going on in their faith but after i could understand where they where coming from. My gf(at the time) and i would find a common ground where both of us would be comfortable. Its really a debateable topic if religons count or not. Look in the end its only love between two people and thats wat keeps you's together. But the main thing is try and find common ground where both can meet in the middle.

[King Zarathu]

Dude.. I'm really really happy for you that y'all can be happy together. That's excellent to hear.

(if you plan to answer that, you'd better have a bible verse picked out, cause I won't go down without a fight)

I LOVE that. It shows you aren't pussy whipped like some people (*cough*mollie and andy*cough*) and you're willing to stand up for your belief.

I'm a Satanist and my girl is Christian..things rock in our relationship. We bump heads and go through our arguments (esp. right now for some ****ed up demented reason) but when times are good it's A++

I think it's also good that you and your g/f respect each other and realize one is entitled to one's beliefs.

And no, I think that if you keep smiling and loving each other, it will not doom your relationship. I doubt that love consists of "Well.. if you really loved me you would bow down to a non-existing creature with me.. just to be.. gay."

That isn't a slam to Christianity.. for I do respect the Christians for keeping such valuable persistence in keeping the guilt-ridden religion going.

[OpticalIllusion]

Yeah, I figured most of you would say something along those lines. In fact the only reason I ask, is because almost all of her close friends are very Christian. And since day 1, all i've gotten from them is "your relationship is wrong" or "can't you see what's wrong with you two being together" or "How can it work, with you being an atheist.... you guys must have so many different morals if that's true."

To be frank, I'm F%$&ing sick of it. I decided that i'd get some outside opinions who aren't trying to get rid of me. Well I'm glad I didn't get a bunch of, "BURN IN HELL ATHEIST!" kind of stuff.

(btw i've received comments like that from peers before)

[Junket]

The only thing I really see being a potential problem in a long lasting relantionship is that when the kids are put in the picture. Because you two aren't the only ones who are gonna have a say, (though I think you should). If she's from a deeply religious family they're gonna want your children raised they way they think they ought to be.

My brother is an atheist, so is his girlfriend (soon to be married) but my mom still expects his children to be baptized, take communion and be confirmed. If things get that far, you two should discuss what will be done with the children, and let the rest of the family know ahead of time and try to prevent future issues.

Those are my thoughts.

[OpticalIllusion]

Well we don't have to worry about that anymore... she broke up with me. She said "being with you is not a choice I can make alone. It's up to God. I always believed that love will conquer all. But it is the love God has for me and I have for him, that will conquer all"

So thank you all for listening to my story, but non of it matters anymore. She made her choice... her stupid choice.

Disclaimer: The following short statement contains extreme blasphemy. If it will offend you, I ask that you please avert your eyes at this time.

**** Christianity... **** God... **** it all! All it does is cause pain.

[xplodinjohnno]

A nice touch to the end,
I just want to say i'm sorry for your lost. But in the end she looked like some relegious person you can do without.

LOL I like how you still give god respect with the Capital G lol hahaha

PLENTY OF MORE FISH IN THE SEA (Even more Christian ones too LOL)

[Chlorine]

OpticalIllusion----So sad to read it has ended this way. Her reply is a typical christian response. She chose God over you. Has she tried to convert you?...'cause that's what they normally do. Though it's probably irrelevant now.

She may have a change of heart and if she does seek a reconciliation, sit down and have another discussion. Sounds like the two of you had something good going there. Don't give up so easily.

[Junket]

She chose God over you.

(let me you in on a little secret, teehee! little does she know, He doesn't exist!)

Now smile cause you know somethin' she doesn't!

[King Zarathu]

She chose God over you.

Yes.. indeed. It must be true love. How do you feel, that she chose an imaginary being over you?!

AH-CHOO

Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.

[doubleproxy]

OpticalIllusion, Im sorry to hear about how things turned out, but I think this is a time to evalue things seriously.

Im 27, atheist and in a relationship with a Christian. She is the woman of my dreams and we have been together for a year now. It can work, not for everyone, not all the time, but it can.

I think that your x must have been under a tremendous amount of pressure. Her friends, and I presume her family too, are Christian and that seems to put expectations that she will find, and marry, a Good Christian(tm). It's not easy to just piss on everything we have been tought to believe, even if we want to.

In case you and her get back together, here's what works for me:
1. Learn to love her points of view, read the damn bible, go to church with her, ask her questions, curiously, be involved in her religious life
2. Give these things, and slowly expect her to respect you in the same way
3. Check out the web and get books on inter-faith relationships. There are several good ones on amazon. Read them with her.
4. Focus on the things you have in common, and never, ever, ever fight. About anything. Make it a habit to TALK, not shout.
5. Always respect her opinion on religious matters, but don't be afraid to disagree. Disagree respectfully, patiently.

Actually, the first point is really everything. Force yourself to truly love her religious side. Acknowledge that her spirituality is a BIG factor in who she is and who you love. When skimming the bible, ignore every single part you disagree with and focus on that one you think is slightly sane. Discuss that part with her, tell her you agree.

Now, if she never shows any signs of taking a step towards you, then **** it. However, if she is open minded, just a bit, then I believe the above is a recipe for success in a relationship of this kind.

Hmm... Im not gonna become Christian. She wont give up her faith. We have the best relationship in the world and there is plenty of love and respect. She is hardcore Christian, goes to church every Sunday, even sings in the choir.
I love her, shes wonderful, everything about her religion is turning out to be an asset in our relationship - fidelity and all the other Christian values. I know she wont cheat on me, simply because of the implications in her church environment.

Anyway, to anyone else out there, don't let God come between you and your religious gf

P.S. I posted a strikingly similar post to yours some time ago on a Christian forum.
[url]http://www.christianforums.com/t113123[/url]

[coffeecrazy]

Pardon my ignorance, but what is an atheist??

[King Zarathu]

someone who doesn't believe in anything.. be it god, self-worshippers, devil-worshippers..

nothing. they believe in what they see.