Just found out dated a married woman.

[Conqueror36]

A little back story first. So i've dated my girlfriend for 2 years. It's been going great. She claim when we first have sex she was a virgin and she had never been intimate with someone before. Her ex she said she only kissed and never even let him fondle her. She move to the US about 3 years ago and said that she broke up with him 3 months prior to moving here to the US. A months ago I found out about her ex through photos of him and her together hidden away. I asked her about it and she told me it was nothing but I was very skeptical. SHe got really mad and told me never to go through her stuff again and so I did what she told.

Fast forward to 5 days ago. She wanted a facebook account so I create one for her. She would friend everyone she knows back in Vietnam, even her ex. I told her to friend me but she didn't. I got mad and said why you friend your ex but not me and she said it's because she doesn't want me spying on her. Last month she told me she and I would go back to Vietnam so that I can found out the truth about her ex and stuff. But now when I mention going back to Vietnam with her she doesn't want me to go at all. She said that she will be very busy with her brother engagement and stuff and wouldn't have enough time to hang out with me. Her parents might come back as well so she doesn't want them to know that she's living together with me.

This got my suspicion up. So I keylogged her comp and got her facebook account password. I go through it and found out her ex just joined facebook just a few days after she joined and posted pictures of him and her together with 2 kids. Before she told me those 2 kids are just her small cousins. So today i rummage through her stuff which is hidden away. To my amazement I found out that he ex was actually her husband and that her 2 small cousins were her sons, both 5 years old. I have hard evidence for this because she had some immigration paper for him and their 2 sons clearly. She's not a US citizen yet so It will take a very long time for her to get him into the US.

So do you think I was just being played. That I was just there because she was lonely and I would comfort her. I know that she loves me but with this revelation it's driving me crazy. How should I approached this? Should I just dump her or sent some pictures of us back to her husband so that her marriage will be ruined just like how our relationship is?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

If you think you'd be fulfilled by ruining her marriage, then do it. She certainly deserves it. Otherwise just stop contact with her.

[IndiReloaded]

Dump her immediately. For all you know, they planned this together. Get her US citizenship, then dump you and bring him here.

Or, she has abandoned her family. As woman I will tell you I'd eat my own shit before ever leaving my children. Even if he was terribly abusive. He'd end up having an 'accident' if I felt he was bad enough I needed to escape. In such a scenario, few women would ever leave her children to such a man.

Not saying that's her excuse, just saying that even if it was something that terrible, all the more reason she wouldn't leave them.

I do know one asian woman who have came here for her education, leaving her husband and children. But she was very driven to succeed and her family followed soon after (~ 1 year). That's quite different than leaving and getting a BF.

[Conqueror36]

What I don't get is why would her parents allow her to stay with me. I mean they know she's married and everything but how could they just let her get into a relationship with another man when she has a husband and kids back in Vietnam. Does a woman need a relationship so badly that they would jeopardize their family and lied with your love ones for 2 years. I think she lied to her husband in Vietnam as well so she has been lying to the both of us. Would revenge be a good strategy. I was planning to set up a webcam secretly and tape us having sex. I want to sent a photo of us to her husband and get him riled up and see the carnage unfold. The photo will be taken with her face and nude with just my back or something so they can't identify me. Problem is the webcam and the computer is hers. Would I be in any legal problems if I post it?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You would be fine legally, she's your girlfriend. You can just say she consented to it, and she can't prove otherwise. Revenge can make you feel better, but it's not going to make the situation better. I agree with Indi that they could be using you to get citizenship and then drop you, in which case her husband probably knows about you already. Who knows.

You could do something like take her on a weekend get away somewhere really far away from where you live, and ditch her with no money, identification, or cell phone, while she's in the shower. Then just never talk to her again. That would **** her over pretty bad.

[Conqueror36]

I talked to her about it this evening. Turned out she did get married before and have kids. I accused her among other things like going to club and slept with this guy friend of her (which i'm 90% sure she didn't). She slap me for that and in a rage I slap her back really hard. I didn't think I would felt that bad after slapping her but I did. She cried and cried and pleading with me not to leave her. I told her I can't stay with a married woman as I don't want to be a bad person and breaking up a family. After that she show me a divorce paper between him and her. This calm me down a bit knowing she lied to me all this time still makes my head spin. She only want her two sons to come over and the only way to do that is for her ex-husband to come as well. He is their primary taker. The divorce paper clearly shows this. So, it's still possible for this relationship to work?

[steviej]

If she can just abandon her own children for 2 years do you think she is really that committed to you?

[Conqueror36]

If she can just abandon her own children for 2 years do you think she is really that committed to you?

She's not abandoning her 2 kids. She just want them and their father to come to US first. Since he has custody of them she has to get him here to the US as well so that her 2 kids can come

[InYourFACE]

you stupid you dont even now what love is.

she is married, she even denied her kids to you. and you still think there must be love?

maybe you where a good catch to help her get her family to use.

i dont judge her, cause some country's have people going true a lot and they do a lot to get
out of their horrible situation.

but lying is never right.\

so you did not know, by breaking true her privacy(wrong) you know, so you have the choice to break it up now!

[InYourFACE]

You slept her back?

dude you are more ****ed up then all the lies she told you!

i think you are the only problem here. she needs to break any contact with your abusive stupid ass

[HeartIsAching]

You slept her back?

Slept her back? Where the **** are you from?!

OP: She's just using you for now... possibly to get citizenship, possibly just for financial aid.

Whatever the reason, she is just using you, cares nothing for you. Run.

[InYourFACE]

Slept her back? Where the **** are you from?!

OP: She's just using you for now... possibly to get citizenship, possibly just for financial aid.

Whatever the reason, she is just using you, cares nothing for you. Run.

S-L-A-P you asshole. if you are that smart

[steviej]

She's not abandoning her 2 kids. She just want them and their father to come to US first. Since he has custody of them she has to get him here to the US as well so that her 2 kids can come

For the last two years she has abandoned them, they have been without their mother!

As for slapping her back, if she slaps him why should she not get slapped back?

[HeartIsAching]

S-L-A-P you asshole. if you are that smart

No, slap YOU asshole. Congratulations on actually remembering that asshole is one word.

[DerekDrake]

Im not gonna judge on the slap part. Vietnamese woman have known to endure it. I know cuz I was born there.

Hate to say shit about my own country but we are willing to do almost anything to obtain green card. She will most likely dump you after that. One thing I can assure you that even if she has legal paper saying she's divorced prove to you, they most certainly are still together. I've seen it happened with my eyes, heard it with my ears. Don't even try to send her husband your pictures together with her, they probably had a ruse and expected it. You just been played, my friend.

Now I'm not saying you should report these things to Immigration Office or do crazy things for revenge because you gain nothing from that. I'm not sure in America, keep silence on these situation is a crime or not.

I say, dump her. A vietnamese girl who loves you for real won't be that secrecy. They'd never lie about their virgin. If she's not gonna share her story life with you, why the f*** should you spend anymore time with her? Is this a physical love?