Temptation

[l0standconfused]

Hello all.

I'll jump right into it. I am engaged to the most amazing man. He and I are so happy when we are together, people remark on it. However we live 500 miles apart, and while we manage to see each other every couple of months...the in-between times leave something to be desired.

He's not a terribly talkative type, although we have had good conversations. But after three years of 5 hours a night online together, you tend to run out of things to say. We each do our own thing at night, and just listen to the other person breathe. I have given up my home, family, friends, and soon country for this man (Was disowned for dating someone from a different religion). I am immigrating from Canada to where he is in the States, although I will miss Toronto. The past few months, he was very negative and monosyllabic on the phone. In fact, this dates approximately to the time that he bought me a computer for christmas and i started gaming with him and his friends. The original idea was that it was an activity to do together, but I have also found friends who make me laugh...and he started becoming insecure - i was no longer hanging on his every word. Our conversations became tense and not enjoyable.

Cue the other man. There always is one, I suppose. Somebody specifically designed to tempt you with exactly what's missing. Somebody who made me laugh, staying up until 5am talking to him about literature and wordplay, someone with a degree in music like myself...who started to tell me that I deserved better than I was getting from my guy. And that he was falling for me.

Then my fiancee read my email and realized what was going on. He drove up in the middle of the night to not only confront me, but to fix what was wrong. Fix what he'd missed giving me, fix the lack of trust resulting from this "emotional cheating." And the minute he walked in the door I thought I'd been a fool. Three years of good times and bad times and hard work to make things work with this man that I loved so much and who loved me...compared to three weeks with this other guy. Apologies, tears, and hugs combined with him removing this guy from all my contact lists and threatening if i contacted him again, we were through. A reasonable request. I am committed to making this work with him.

But...I miss the other man something fierce. I miss our lighthearted happy three weeks. I was so happy and calm and peaceful, even though I know it was a dream. I can't stop wishing I could talk to him. Its like a drug.

[Sonrisa]

what a beautiful story. i am glad you stayed with your fiance since you never what the '3week' guy could've given you. there will always be temptations for the rest of your life. it's up to you how to handle them though.

[Rollerderby]

It's been three weeks. It's new infatuation. Infatuation. I wouldn't throw a fiance out the window for that, especially if he is willing to work with you.

[Doc Durian]

Hello all.

I'll jump right into it. I am engaged to the most amazing man. He and I are so happy when we are together, people remark on it. However we live 500 miles apart, and while we manage to see each other every couple of months...the in-between times leave something to be desired.

He's not a terribly talkative type, although we have had good conversations. But after three years of 5 hours a night online together, you tend to run out of things to say. We each do our own thing at night, and just listen to the other person breathe. I have given up my home, family, friends, and soon country for this man (Was disowned for dating someone from a different religion). I am immigrating from Canada to where he is in the States, although I will miss Toronto. The past few months, he was very negative and monosyllabic on the phone. In fact, this dates approximately to the time that he bought me a computer for christmas and i started gaming with him and his friends. The original idea was that it was an activity to do together, but I have also found friends who make me laugh...and he started becoming insecure - i was no longer hanging on his every word. Our conversations became tense and not enjoyable.

Cue the other man. There always is one, I suppose. Somebody specifically designed to tempt you with exactly what's missing. Somebody who made me laugh, staying up until 5am talking to him about literature and wordplay, someone with a degree in music like myself...who started to tell me that I deserved better than I was getting from my guy. And that he was falling for me.

Then my fiancee read my email and realized what was going on. He drove up in the middle of the night to not only confront me, but to fix what was wrong. Fix what he'd missed giving me, fix the lack of trust resulting from this "emotional cheating." And the minute he walked in the door I thought I'd been a fool. Three years of good times and bad times and hard work to make things work with this man that I loved so much and who loved me...compared to three weeks with this other guy. Apologies, tears, and hugs combined with him removing this guy from all my contact lists and threatening if i contacted him again, we were through. A reasonable request. I am committed to making this work with him.

But...I miss the other man something fierce. I miss our lighthearted happy three weeks. I was so happy and calm and peaceful, even though I know it was a dream. I can't stop wishing I could talk to him. Its like a drug.

If you care for your fiancee, you'll cut him loose.

You're not ready to wed him.

[Gigabitch]

Wow. It's like you won the lottery and you can't wait to get to the casino to gamble it all away.