Don't say a single mom is back with her ex!

[ingaburinskaya]

I'm a single mother now and my ex from hell is back wanting to become a daddy after he abandoned me pregnant and all what I have went though and accomplished alone.

How it all started...I knew that guy for quite a while: we dated in Russia for 4 years (I was 14, he 21 when we met), then I got married to him at 18, he got a job here and we moved to US. I was accepted in a Russian university at that time and had no intentions to change my plans..He promised he will pay for my college here and said I will learn a language very fast.

A year later he kicked me out from his apartment because I was a "bad" wife--all day in school, no cooking, no family time. I played backgammon online and met somebody in GA..went there...two weeks later my ex came back for me crying and dying. I sent him back to NJ and in a week he found a Russian online model and they went to Turkey for a mini-vacation. It didn't work out neither with that model nor my boyfriend and I came back to my ex. We lived together for another 2 years..then he made me fly to Russia to sign a divorce paper or he wouldn't pay for my last year in college.

After we came back from Russia, we were divorced but lived together for 6 more months (I had nowere to go--no money and no relatives) Because we slept in separate rooms and I didn't pay rent he kicked me out on the street again on one of the coldest days with $50 in my pocket. I had one more semester to go. One of my male classmates, a peruvyan guy offered me to stay in a basement in his parents' house. I got a scholarship a month later so I could pay rent. While I lived on my own my ex started calling me--I was bored and lonely--and I went with him to Hawaii for a spring break.

We met a few times after our trip..I got pregnant (At that time I just graduated with my degree in Biotechnology, applied for a graduate school in Hawaii and was admitted..) My ex, after hearing this news, insited on me having an abortion, for which he was going to generously pay. It was my first pregnacy and I said no to his offer and also to my dream in Hawaii. He went to Russia and I haven't heard from him until lately. I stayed in NJ and had a temporary chemist position at Colgate. It ended in 6 months..I had nowere to go.

At that time through my friend I met a guy in manhatten who had his own lab, was a doctor, drove a Lamborghini, was notorious for speeding (here's a link about him [url]http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=william+faenza&spell=1[/url]). he offered me to work for him. I moved to PA being 5 months pregnant. We were dating and he was my boss at the same time. I was really in love with him...Despite of being successful he seemed to be so nice, helpful, family oriented, also a guy who rescued me..

Needless to say when I was in labor and called him from the hospital he said he doesn't want to do anything with me. He left me for somebody with two kids and a husband (husband committed a suicide shortly), and left her for another woman to whom he just proposed. I lost my love, a potential father for my child, a job and a place to live...Had to look for a new apartment with a newborn baby..found it, had some savings, got medicaid, looked for a job.

Just recently found a great permanent position with ImClone, moved to NJ. Have an apartment in one of the better areas, a beautiful 6 months old son and a piece of mind. But it's still so stressful and I'm very lonely. My ex from hell called a few days ago because he realized that he wants to be a father and wants to come and live with us. He's in Russia now. He came for a few days last week..

he saw the baby and was nice to us..but he hated when I started talking about what I went through because of him. He wants to come back, stay with me while he will be looking for a job and try to be an ideal parent. Sounds like a deal?

[Ellynn]

Wow you have been thru ALOT! Sorry to hear about what all happened!

Anyways....I would really be cautious with your child's father. I mean he did abandon you both....and didn't want a child to begin with. And what is messed up about it all is he doesn't like you talking about how he abandoned you when its a fact! He shouldn't get upset with you talking about it .....but he should be upset at himself for doing that to you!

I mean if he wants to be a father to your child let him be. As long as he poses no threat to your child and acts responsibly I say its a good idea. As far as getting involved with him again(romanticaly)....honestly I dont think thats a good idea. I mean he called you a "bad wife" for doing things to further your education and your career. He took off with some model and just left you hanging. He wanted you to abort the child you made together. He sounds like an @$$. Personally you deserve better.

I know you feel lonely and stressed....but there are other men out there. My friend just got married and she has a daughter from a previous relationship that didnt work out. I mean it is possible to find someone else. It just takes time.

Hang in there..... You have your son to think about.