My ex gf dumped me over a year ago, was very tough for me and I don't doubt it was tough for her. We were together over 3 years, long distance relationship (yeah I know
).
We met in college and we were planning to move either to my town or hers. She got a work in her field at her place rather quickly so it was up to me now to get something there as well. First I wanted to get something in my "field", but could not get anything and I took it a bit harder than I should have probably. I felt we started to drift apart, but I thought it was nothing that serious.
Then it took a real turn for the worse, I did not get anything, and I sort of gave up and long story short, she dumped me. I don't blame her, I was in a miserable state and I know she was waiting on me. I had gained alot of weight, my confidence was at a real alltime low. She was better off without the guy I was then, that I know.
I had myself to blame really, I made mistakes that I would not make again. I was always "blaming" the financial crisis about the situation, and what not. I was in deep denial. Today I can just laugh when I think about it, but the price for waking up was rather steep.
Naturally I made all the mistakes in the book after the breakup as well, trying to get her back by all means possible instead of staying back and evaluate the situation. I pushed her away even further probably.
Then I woke up, removed her from windows live messanger, facebook and what not (for my own good).
Half a year ago I knew she had met someone new, which ofcourse stung in my hurt quite bad (even if I had come a long way by then), but I lived my life with work, family and friends. Then one day, a few days after I changed my picture on MSN messanger, it poped up something about her "trying to connect to you on windows live". I had a feeling what it had to do with, something I had done myself one time. When you click on this person and check the profile (or what not, Im not sure really). It rushed to my heart, and I blocked her entierly.
I later removed it, sure Id be curious too if she put up a new picture of herself and check (if I was the dumper).
A few more months passed, with nothing happening, I know she got more and more involved with this guy, and it pops up again (this time without me doing anything at all), and the profile on there is nothing, I never do anything with it.
I don't know why she would even check, if I was falling in love with a new person I sure as hell would not check such a meaningless profile. It's nothing to be curious about at all.
I told her and she denied anything and since then it has not poped up. Which is good, since it hurt me quite bad, since I still have feelings for her. And I know she is with this guy now, i dont know much more, and I can't say I want to know either.
I know I've handled my situation better now, I've lost the weight I gained, I've got a job (even if its not the best, its a start) and life is good in general (even if the breakup is a torn in my side, I know it could have been avoided with better judgment from both sides). I've learned hell of alot from this, even if I lost someone I valued alot.
Long story
, but would you really check such a meaningless profile a second time (without me chaning anything) when you are in the start of a new relationship? (I mean it's not a facebook page, it got almost nothing interesting)
I would have been better off without those popups, because it gave me false hope that she missed me (which she maybe did, but not enough it seems).
Sorry if it's butcherd english, it's my second language!
Thankful for any serious reply, and I know I need to get this woman passed me (which I've really been trying to do).
/Elko