Depressed Girlfriend, Frustrating Situation

[Zappa1]

Hello,

I have been with my girlfriend for 5 months and I love her and she says that she loves me. She has been suffering from depression practically all year, including when we got together. She lives at home with her parents, but she does not consider them family. They were horrible parents to her growing up, showing little to no affection. Father was abusive, too. She only stays there because it is convenient and she can walk to work (she has no car). I have offered for her to come live with me, but no.

Admittedly, it has gotten frustrating for me. We have only had sex twice and oral every once and a while. For about a month and a half she has expressed little desire for ANY intimacy. I've asked her if she was still attracted to me and she responded, earnestly, yes. She says that she is just been really depressed. I treat her as well as I can; take her out, give her attention, give her space when she needs it. It's frustrating. And then this situation occurred..

Around the time we got together, she had been getting in touch with her half-sister, whom she had never before met. This was exciting to her, the prospect of a real family. So things come together and a few months back, her sister comes to visit along with her husband and their two sons. Husband is in the military and they now live in Colorado, where he is stationed. We had a good time while they were here, went to dinner, swam, Six Flags. Thought they were nice.

A month ago my girlfriend and her good female friend flew to Colorado to visit them. Her sister had to work most of the time, so they mostly hung out with her husband. Both my girlfriend and her friend are 22 and very attractive. So, my girlfriend comes home and casually tells me that her sister's husband was practically begging her to stay and move in with him. Obviously, that didn't sit well with me. She has told me recently that she texts him now more than she does her sister. He sends her pictures of the beautiful Colorado skylines and whatnot, trying to coax her into moving there, I'm guessing. Who knows what else he is sending her..

It baffles me that she is so naïve. She doesn't think he has ulterior motives. It's clear to me that he is attracted to her and just wants to have sex with her. I don't trust him at all. And it has been making me worried for when she next goes to visit. He may try to seduce her or something.

Well, I find out today that my girlfriend's sister searched her husband's phone and found out how much he has been texting my girlfriend AND my girlfriend's good friend. Now she thinks they are cheating and wants to break all contact with my girlfriend and also wants a divorce. This is devastating to my girlfriend, who thought she had finally found a real family. Undoubtedly this will worsen her depression and further distance our intimacy. Guess I will see what unfolds here in the next few days.. I love her very much and want to stay with her, but it's just really frustrating and stressful.

I don't know if there is a question here, I just wanted to get it off my chest. Comments/suggestions are welcome. Thanks.

[searock]

Talk to your girlfriend, then set up a meeting with both her, her sister and her sister's husband, and clear everything out.

[Kathryn6586]

Your girlfriend sounds very young, naive and desperate for attention. That is all very normal for someone who has grown up in a unloving household. She is seeking affection in the wrong places because of this. She should have never started texting her sister's husband in the first place. Has she seen doctor about her depression or been prescribed any anti-depressant medication? That's a good place to start. I know how you feel. My boyfriend has depression issues and it eats away at me. Try you best to give her all the love and affection she needs so she won't seek it in other places. Best of luck!