Feel Stupid!!

[jlee0384]

So, I drove a long way to see this guy who I havent seen in a decade, because crazy me, I thought we liked each other. We flirted, he text and tease me all day, spend hrs talking on the phone about everything and anything. It felt right, we have so much in common.... we were just so comfortable with one another. He told me he was physically attracted to me and said he liked me and everything.

But after that weekend I spent with him, he's been acting odd. Just to let you know the weekend I spent with him was great! we had so much fun laughing and playing around and bonding. He told me that he really was glad I came there..we did have sex, too (which was amazing, but odd thing was...we never kissed)... and with me and my emotions, after I left, I told him I liked him. Since then he didn't call me or text me as much. He left to move overseas for the military, and since then it's been very different. He hasn't emailed me or responded to me on fb as much as he used to... I feel very stupid. I can't believe I really thought he was into me. I guess what I'm trying to ask is if I should confront him?? Or is he not worth my time to go bug him and figure what's going on?? I really was cool with us being friends...

[Alvy]

He said it himself, he's physically attracted to you. That and the lack of kissing pretty much tells you exactly what he wanted from you. And now that he's finished, you're basically just a discarded tampon in his mind. Good for one use and into the bin you go.

[lilly1185]

People notoriously use the internet as a way of picking people up.

He may also have been involved with more than just you. I have a friend who doesn't kiss other women when he's philandering, because "only if kissing is involved, it's cheating."
I for the life of me can't figure that one out,
but it may just be a weird set of guidelines he keeps so he can make himself feel better about what he's doing.

You bugging him on facebook and such, and him ignoring you is the equivalent of a drunk night out that you spend in some stranger's bed, and the first thing he says to you in the morning is "Why are you still here?"

Chalk it up to a lesson learned. At least you had fun, but
get tested and dust yourself off.

And next time, make him drive to you. If I'm expecting a level of commitment out of someone, why should I put my life and well being at risk to travel a HUGE distance when I could be raped or mugged along the way? Especially if I'm unfamiliar with the area. But that's just me.

Short side? Make a list of criteria.
Stick to your deal breakers,
and if there is a meeting, make sure you get more than a few hours of face time before knocking boots. You can usually tell just what a person is after if you don't get "lost in the moment".

[xxazurexx]

In future, don't be so naive...

Just because men will call, text, flirt and sweetalk, doesn't mean they are in love with you and want a relationship with you.

Just because you offer sex up on a plate, doesn't mean he owes you a relationship either - it was 'your' choice to put out, he didn't force you.

He got what he came looking for.....simple as that.

[Charisma]

Jeez, I've done that before!

Like someone said, the internet is being used (by men usually-but that doesn't mean women don't either) to hook up with utter strangers. They even do that romantic stuff that guys do in person to get what they want (I'm sure women do a similar thing as well). But if the people who meet up know what is going down, I see no harm in that.(however, there are people out there who aren't honest aobut their intentions, so people get hurt while they get what they wanted with very little consequence).

The problem with the internet, in my opinion, is that you rarely know the person on the other end. You don't know past love history, unless they tell you THEIR side of it, and they can juice it up how they like. You don't even know if they are married with 10 kids. They could be taken, engaged, already cheating with 5 other people on the net similtaneously. Or they could be exactly what they say they are.

But then once they meet, it's far different from tying to each other. You read their body language, you notice the slightly squint teeth they have, that their laugh is embarrassing, that they made plans after meeting you-so it will be short-(how inconsiderate), or that their accent/voice is highly annoying. Suddenly this person who you said you wanted to be with, seems like a less than spectacular person-you-wouldn't-have-noticed-in-the-street.

After my experience of being used, I decided the internet isn't the place to meet people in real life. To not feel so angry, upset, ect about it and him, I told myself that I had blind faith in him. I tell myself that I couldn't have known he was an idiot, ect at the time, and that my actions were appropriate to what I knew at the time.

Don't beat yourself up about it. The people that do that kind of thing with people on a regular basis are very good at talking people into believing it's something special. Most people can easily say *oh meeting people off the internet is pathetic* ect, and be judgemental, but I didn't have anyone say *don't meet people of the internet, you could get emotionally hurt*.

***oops**

I've realised you said you knew this guy over a decade ago.

I had an incident (before the meeting random internet guy) that I had a guy from my highschool who I had a bit of a crush on join my myspace page. He also joined my sister's page(cos he knew her too, we're close in age), and I had him on my msn. He asked me out to the cinema one time, and then some week/weeks later out to town to walk to this kind of monument bit. Anyways, after that we were gonna arrange for me to stay over at his(and sleep together) and even tho I asked a few times about dating him, he avoided it by saying he's not got enough time to commit, blah blah.

Anyways, the night before I told my sister, and she tells me how he's been trying to ask out her too. So I texted him, he says it's true, blah blah, he thinks both of us are hot and stuff. So I was so mad I told him I didn't want to speak to him again. He would have taken my virginity instead of random internet dude, if things had gone ahead.

So even people we think we know can be after one thing as well.

(Sorry for long post)

[jlee0384]

Even if I knew him in the past, ppl change over time, so in a sense, he might as well be a stranger. I don't know what the deal was... but all things happen for a reason. I just wish I knew why he acted the way he did.

[jlee0384]

I never said that he forced me to have sex with him, you're right... it was a choice, but it definitely didn't cross my mind that it was going to happen the way it did. I didn't even get to kiss him so when the whole sex thing happened, it took me by surprise. I told him from the beginning that I didn't want to be in a relationship just as much as he didn't either. So i wasn't looking for a relationship...I did like his companionship and that's all I wanted with him... especially with moving overseas... yah, I'm not that naive.

[Gigabitch]

Well, a bit of companionship and ex was all you're going to get. You knew he was leaving and you basically signed up for a goodbye fling. He's clearly not going to put any more effort into this, so don't make a fool out of yourself.