So my girlfriends computer is down. So for the last 3 months she has been using my laptop.
Last weekend was our first full on sexual experience. She had never let anyone touch her below the waist before. (though she has given head to a few guys in a previous, rebellious stage of her life) I was the first one. we didn't have actual sex but I used my hands. She keeps reminding me that it was a such a special experience for her and it made her feel close and that she gave up alot for me.
She also did things for me. I am self conscious about the size of my genital self. She said that it didn't matter to her that it was plenty big and it was forgotten for the night. (PS mine is, from what I have come to understand the very definition of average, 4.3 inches long and 4.1 around) I didn't worry about it, I love her and she says she loves me.
Today I get the computer back and The yahoo messenger pops up when someone tries to chat, I go to close it and see the previous chat. A few actually.
She is discussing our sexual experience with 3 other male strangers. She says she will not cheat because she has a boyfriend and can only be friends to all of them cause they all make a suggestion about meeting with her or boyfriends being expendable or something.
But she discussed with all of them her disappointment with my size she said "Secret: I am disappointed, he is perfect for me in every other way, he is the sweetest, most attractive, most thoughtful, caring and funny guy and he seems like everything I have ever hoped for but it's the smallest one I have seen and I can't imagine it would even feel like much when we eventually do have intercourse."
One guy said, "It will probably still work just fine, you just need to decide whether you will be able to be happy with it the way it is or not. Do you love this guy?"
She replied "I don't love him"
She didn't even sound like the sweet, open minded, and understanding girl I have know for the last 6 months.
So yeah, my girlfriend is talking to males she has met online since we started dating and is discussing our sex life with them and her disappointment with my penis. She denies she loves me to them despite having told me in a very emotional way many times before.
I don't know what to think, is the size of a guys thing really that big of a deal? Most girls I have been with in the past have said it's normal sized and many have said that my attentiveness, energy and thoughtfulness in sex more than make up for it many girls saying I am in the top 3 sexual partners they have ever had, if not the top so I figured it wasn't a big deal but it seems a bigger deal than I thought.